The whole two hours of math class I couldn't concentrate. I couldn't understand any of the equations, I couldn't hear the teacher talking and even the two girl sitting behind me who were yelling, I didn't hear.
I couldn't hear anything except my own heart beating so fast and loud while thinking about Ron. My best friend since our childhood.
Math genius, social butterfly, the one who gets you. His smile is one of the most beautiful ones I ever got to see. He had adorable faded freckles on his nose bridge and much more bold ones on the rest of his face. He was 178 cm tall, and while I'm 10 cm shorter he would always talk to me eye to eye.
He was the most honest guy I have ever known, so today I decided to be honest with him. I decided to tell my best friend since day one, that I am gay. And that I'm sorry but I really am in love... With him.
I sent him a text.
*you: Talk to me after last period.*
To my surprise he answered almost immediately.
*Ron: 6:52 pm the place.*
My last class ends at 6:50 and so I'll ran over to "our place", under the tree behind the football field. I sent him the message at 3 pm so that means I have almost four hours to die from stress and anxiety.
"He's gonna hate me. He's gonna tell everyone that I am a gross 'fag' who is in love with his best friend."
Panic started to hit me real bad. All of my high school, which is like 800 students, are going to laugh and bully me.
Not even my family knows. I don't know how my mother and sisters, Alice and Daria, would react. But I do know how my father would; when my cousin came out as a lesbian and brought her girlfriend home my father was disgusted and told her to stay away, that was two years ago.
The wait to see him was unbearable. The anxiety overflowed my mind. I felt as if I was dying and coming back to life, again and again without stops.
The time moved really slow, and when the last period ended my stomach was rolling.
6:50 the bell was heard.
6:50 I am out of my literature class and headed over to our tree.
6:51 I am there.
6:51 I am about to crush from stress.
6:52 Ron there.
6:52 he opens his mouth.
"You got me worried." He was looking at me with his beautiful eyes.
"Sorry." I say quietly with my voice shaking.
"What's up with you?" He asks. 'On three say it.' I told myself.
One...
Two...
Three...
I took a deep breath- "You can tell me anything, you know. Right?" He said,cutting me off and smiling his pure beautiful smile while I only nodded my stupid head. I wish he could read my mind at that moment, it could save us some time.
"I..." Closing my eyes.
"I think that I'm gay."
I said all in one breath. My face was a red mess and there were tears forming in my eyes. He didn't have time to respond before I continued.
"I... Think I'm in love... with you." Tears falling.
"I know you're my best friend and that you're attracted to girls and all that, and I'm sorry, but I am in love with you. My feelings are strong." Sniff.
"Please don't hate me." Sob.
"I hate myself enough." My head hung low, scared to see Ron's face.
"Ace." His sweet voice. "Can I ask you something?" He hesitated. My heart was now pounding even faster then before. All those nightmares where Ron hates me were running in my mind while my tears were falling to the ground.
Then he asked the unexpected, using only four words.
"Can I kiss you?"
My head lifted from the ground, my eyes widen and Ron had a gentle smile. A gentle love. A true one.
I smiled back, understanding his feelings were mutual. "Always." I said.
He leaned closer to me and warmth filed my body, he held me close and I felt as if I was flying.
As our lips touched we could taste my salty tears. Our gentle first kiss lasted forever but then he let go.
"I love you too."
He huged me tightly. The rest of the evening we spent in each others arms talking under our tree.
