Unexpected Desire

Chapter 18

Katherine

My mind was on Jaxon the entire ride back to my car. I don't think I looked at Ian once. I gave him a slight wave and thank you before I stepped out. Tears fell down my face as I drove home. My eyes are starting to hurt from crying so much. I feel like such a slut. Just this morning, I was with Jaxon... I seriously need help. I have to be crazy or something to risk my relationship with him. He is so sweet, and I love him more than anything. I can't believe I did that to us. I step into my front door, and Dana is sitting on the couch watching tv. 

"Kat, sweetheart, what's wrong?" She walks up to me, turning the tv off. 

"Oh, Dana! I'm so stupid!" She walks over to me and hugs me, and my cries explode into her. I hug her like she's my life, however pathetic and torn apart it may be. I clutch her tightly, not wanting to let go. My tears fall furiously. 

Dana rubs my back, and coos soothing words. I'm so glad she is here. I know that I'm not completely alone here. If I had moved here by myself, I would be alone right now. I don't even want to have to think about that. I would probably be broken by now if she wasn't here. She pulls away from me, moving my hair from my eyes. 

"What happened, baby," she asks. 

"I don't know what's wrong with me. I am such a slut," I say, and Dana takes a deep breath. 

"What did you do?" 

"I umm... made out with Ian," I say, looking at the floor. Dana gasps. 

"How far...?" 

"We were in the beautiful pond behind his house, after riding his horses there, and there was a waterfall, it was so beautiful, and so was he, so the smart part of my brain left me, and I teased him. I was only wearing my underwear and bra because we decided to swim, in the beautiful pond, and I swam over to the waterfall and stood under it, and when I swam back to him, it turns out I had turned him on, and he kissed me. It was the most amazing kiss...then, he said he wanted me, and I said it to....," I kept rambling like a little child. "Then, he gave me the best orgasm of my life, with just his fingers! I was in awe of him, but then Jaxon popped into my head, and I had to tell him." 

Dana stands in front of me, with a little bit of shock and a little confusion in her expression. 

"That probably made no sense," I whisper, and more tears fall down my cheeks. 

"It's okay, love. I understood the important part," she says. "You need to tell Jaxon, and I know it's going to be hard. We will just have to pray that he won't take it bad. But look," she picks my face up. "You will always have me, okay. We can still go lesbian for each other," she smiles, and so do I, remembering the promise we made each other in high school. 

"See, and I can still make you smile when you're down. I still got it," we laugh. Dana knows exactly how to make me feel better. 

"Thank you, bestie. I really needed that," I say, wiping my eyes. 

"That's what I'm here for," she says, giving me a quick hug. She walks away from me, and grabs my purse that I dropped on the floor when I walked in, and felt around inside. She picks out her hand and my phone is sitting inside it. She waves it in my face with an anxious look on her face. 

"You need to call him and see if you can go to him. He needs to know as soon as possible." 

"Oh, gosh. I know," I grab my phone from her. This is the longest day of my life. I go through my contacts and hit send. I stick the phone to my ear, and Dana holds my hand. Its really nice to have your best friend with you at times like this. 

"Hello," Jaxons voice comes on the other line. 

"Hey, Jaxon," I say, and close my eyes, squeezing Dana's hand. 

"Hey baby," he says. "What's up?" 

"Um...we need to talk. Do you think I can come see you," I say, putting two fingers to my temple, pretending to shoot myself, to Dana. She gives me a small smile. 

"Oh...okay, I can drive over there real qu-" 

"No, I want to come to you," I say, and hang my head. 

"Well, okay," he says. 

"Okay, I'll be there soon," I say, and look at Dana. 

"Okay baby, see you soon," he says. 

"Bye," I say. 

"Bye," he whispers, and hangs up. Oh god, I just want to die. 

"That was horrible, and I haven't even seen his face." 

"It's okay, love. He's not going to take it well, but you just have to deal with it," she says, rubbing my arm. I grab my keys. 

"Okay, wish me luck," I say, and kiss Dana on the cheek. 

"Good luck, Kat. Love you." 

"Love you too." I walk out the door, and to my car. I get in and turn the key. I feel like my heart is going to be ripped out in a matter of minutes. Today has been the best and worst day of my life. How is that even possible? Only me, I swear. I sigh to myself as I pull out my driveway. 

The drive is pretty short, and it seems like I'm there in no time. I pull into the parking lot for Jaxon's barracks, and under the light on the steps, stands Jaxon, looking sexy as ever. I take a deep breath, and get out. 

I step slowly up to him, and I find it hard to look at his slightly happy face. His expression changes when I get up close to him. I shift awkwardly from foot to foot. 

"Hey, Jaxon."

AN: Mostly a filler.....next chapter is going to be a shocker...:) Hope you guys enjoyed it!!! Dont forget to vot and comment :D