Perfect On The Outside

Chapter Eight: Memory Lane

I keep my eyes on the photo sitting on the nightstand. Annabeth talks on the phone, Sofie is down stairs with my parents.

The picture tugs at memories. Bad, well technically good, memories...

"Sawyer, no,"I tell him.

"Sawyer yes,"he replies.

I back away from him slowly. I turn around, ready to burst into a sprint, but he wraps his arms around me. I scream as he kisses my cheek repeatedly.

"Sawyer,"I scream. "Stop it."

He pauses. "Awe, babe am I smothering you?" After that he goes back to kissing me.

"Sawyer."

"Spencer."

I turn around, just as he was about to start again. He looses his balance and falls backwards on to the grass, pulling me with him.

We don't bother to get up. I just lay my head on him. Annabeth comes up out of nowhere and snaps a picture. Surprisingly were both looking at the camera.

For some strange reason my heart starts racing, signaling the beginning of a panic attack. I try to remember what Dr. Wise has been telling me to do. Take a deep breath, I think. I follow my thought.

Despite that, I slide down to the floor. Annabeth turns to me.

"Hang on Claire,"she murmurs into the phone. She asks me,"Spencer, are you okay?"

"Uh huh. Go 'head continue talking to your sister."

Instead of following what I told her, she puts her phone down and comes to me. She kneels down. She grabs my hand.

"Spencer, what happened,"she asks softly.

I've been doing pretty well. Panic attack free for a while. Until now. There's a trigger, always a trigger. Annabeth knows that.

"S-Sawyer,"I stutter out.

Annabeth looks up for a second then nods. She hugs me. Her hold soft and warm. I take another deep breath. I'm safe, I think to myself. I'm alive, and I'm safe. My heart begins to slow down. My body relaxes. Annabeth sighs, a sigh of relief.

"You're okay,"she murmurs. "We're okay."

I don't know if that was for me, or for her. But either way I nod.

That's the first time I stopped a panic attack before it even happened. We're okay.

++++++++++

"Who wants to see some old pictures with me?"mom asks. A big black covered photo album is in her hands.

"Me,"Sofie says.

Annabeth adds,"I'm in."

They turn to me. I shake my head. "Nope. Nope. Nope. Have fun."

They can have fun with that. I have a really bad feeling about it all.

I try to run upstairs but Annabeth grabs the collar of my shirt. She pulls me back.

"Sorry Spencer,"she says. "I have to make sure you're okay so you have to be down here."

"Ugh."

She sits me on the couch. Mom sits on my left and Annabeth sits on my right. Sofie sits on Annabeth's lap like a five year old.

"Book one,"Annabeth says. "Spencer."

She meets my eyes.

I ask,"How may I help you Goldilocks?"

"Open it."

I do without protest. I will be honest I'm curious about these pictures too. It's been a while since I've opened the book. Though like I said, I got a bad feeling about it.

The first page is blank. The second page has a picture of a newborn baby on it. The baby is being held by a young woman with red hair and gray eyes. The baby is sleeping, the woman is smiling proudly. My mother holding...me.

There's a small description under the paper in nice, neat handwriting. Going home two days after Spencer is born. So mom must of wrote it.

"The happiest day of my life,"mom says with a smile.

Mom pulls me into her. I lay my head on her shoulder. As were about to turn to the next page the door opens. We all turn around.

"I thought that was when you had me?"Davey asks walking in through the front door.

"No,"His wife says walking in from behind. "It had to be your sister, look at her. Then look at you. Look back at her, then at you, and finally to me."

He does all those things. She smiles when his eyes land on her again. "You will never be her."

He pouts. Davey's about to say something when she kisses him.
Annabeth, Sofie and I all gag in unison.

"Oh hush,"Davey says as he pulls away for a moment. Then he gives her a quick peck before pulling her into the kitchen.

"Anyway,"mom continues. She moves on to the next page.

The next picture was of a three year old sitting on a chair her head hovering over her arms, that are on the table. She's smiling.

"Look you barely have any eyebrows,"dad says coming up to the couch.

Mom hits his arm, making dad yelp, as I instinctively cover the picture. I can hear Davey's laughter from the kitchen. Following his laughter is smacking sound.

"Ow,"he whines from the kitchen.

"Ignore him,"both she and mom say.

"At least you're blonde,"his wife yells at me from the kitchen. Davey is most likely scowling in response.

She comes out of the kitchen, Davey trailing behind. She just rolls her at him.

"Thanks Carrie."

She smiles at me.

"I'm blonde,"dad interjects.

"Not naturally,"mom points out.

Dad pouts. Just like Carrie, mom rolls her eyes.

Annabeth, Sofie, and I exchange smiles. Then we continue on in the pictures. Slowly we reach closer to the end of the book. Annabeth being in most of them since we past the pictures from when I was two. When we got closer to the high school part of the album Sofie came up more.

After Sofie came...

Sawyer.