A Broken Man [on hold]

Chapter 5

"Caring is the very thing that tore the man I loved apart until he couldn't take it anymore." The words replayed in Kaitlyn's head.  She'd never thought of it that way. Caring always seemed to be what would fix the world, not destroy those in it. Though, that was probably still true. To her, Deans problem wasn't that he cared, is was that nobody returned the favour for so long of his life. That she could definitely see tearing someone apart.

She'd by lying if she said she wasn't extremely disappointed Castiel wasn't okay with her publishing this as a article, hell even a book would be great. But, she could understand. This wasn't any of anyone's buisness but his and Deans, and she was lucky to get to even hear about it.

With a nod, she cleared her throat "I've never thought about it like that, but I suppose it makes sense. Do you think that maybe what really hurt Dean was, not so much caring, but not getting recognition for it?"

Castiel bit the inside of his cheek and nodded "Yes. I do, of course. Dean was never appreciated fully. His whole life he gave up everything to take care of his younger brother, he was practically a father by the age of 9. Simply because his and Sam's real father couldn't be bothered. I know for a fact the feeling of disappointing his dad was Deans biggest struggle by far. He constantly felt as if he'd been a failure, and he would have done anything for that man, other than hurting Sam of course. And I do believe John truly was proud of Dean, he just couldn't seem to realize how much Dean wanted- needed to hear it, and he certainly wasn't proud enough.

"I know that probably the first time Dean had heard it since his moms death was when he was twenty-six. Twenty-six. That's twenty-two years his father went without showing what Deans hard work meant; and of course, it happened to be just before his father passed on. Even after that Dean continued to put everyone before himself, and all he ever got for it was called a dick, or cocky, because nobody noticed. No matter what he did, nobody seemed to notice. Yes, of course he did act cocky but deep down he loathed himself. He'd always thought he was a grunt, dumb compared to his brother, just because school wasn't his strong point. But he really was smart, he just couldn't believe it. He couldn't even see all the good he did for everyone else. He wasn't born like that. All of that was due to the lack of appreciation, nobody told him he was smart, nobody thanked him, so do to that he grew to hate himself more and more throughout the years. And all of that started simply because his father was too thickheaded to tell him what it meant for once."

I really tend to write short chapters so, sorry for that ¯\_(ツ)_/¯