Automaton Girl

Part 1 - Chapter 1 - Black

The world has never seemed so black and white.

Maybe that's hypocritical, coming from me, a person who hasn't seen the outside world myself for a little more than a year.

I can remember the day I stepped out of my house those 14-months ago. It was a spring day in March. My house --- or rather, apartment --- had begun to smell, and I was afraid my neighbors would pester me about it. So I decided to gather the trash bags I had tried to ignore and stepped outside.

And damn, it was hot.

On a spring day, which you would think would be cool with soft wind, was as humid as a hot springs. Perhaps God did this to punish me again.

Because the world has done nothing but let me down.

My mother and father divorced when I was young. I remember I was four-years-old when my mother dropped me off at my grandmother's house. She smiled eerily at me, and said in a calm voice, "I'll be right back. Don't worry."

And I never saw her again.

But I shouldn't complain much about that. Although my mother fed me on a semi-regular basis and was home every once in a while to check up on me, my grandmother was more caring than I could've asked. For the 13 years that I lived with my grandmother, she was more than my mother was ever to me.

On a silent winter night when I was 17, my grandmother took her last breath and passed away.

Needless to say, my grandfather was non-existant in my life. My mother had abandoned me and my father had run off with a woman half his age.

I was alone in this world now.

My grandmother, however, did not leave me with nothing. My grandmother came from an era of prosperity and wealth, and she left me with more than I needed to support myself. I finished high school and decided against going to college. What was someone like me going to do at college, anyways?

When I turned 18, I decided to go to a train station with nothing more than a tote with three articles of clothing. I looked at the long, seemingly never-ending list of places to go. And the one that caught my eye was a funny-sounding town named 'Joultry'. It sounded like a mixture of jousting and poultry. So I decided to go there.

Joultry seemed like a fitting place. I was expecting it to be very country, but it exceeded my expectations. It was more like an eclosed town, a place you would simply say "everything is within five miles of you". It was more than enough for me.

I found a small apartment complex with two levels. Each floor had five rooms. I talked to the owner, a small, aged old woman who somewhat reminded me of my grandmother. She said there was one room left for rent; she gave me a tour of it, a small one-room apartment with a small bathroom and an open kitchen. The apartment was more tha enough for me. I didn't have to worry anymore.

Nothing would ever hurt me in here.

The only person who could hurt me now was myself.

And that was how I planned on living for the rest of my life.

That brings me here. I was 18 when I moved here, and today was supposed to be what people called a 'birthday'. Five years have passed, so I supposed that would make me 23 --- no, 24 today.

My room is messy. Disorganized. But then again, I never planned on impressing anyone, anyways. My bed is unmade, the floor is scatter with dirty clothes, empty containers of unbeknowst food is along the tables. My dual-computer is sleeping. I'm lying on my bed, staring at the ceiling. My white, spotless ceiling.

I sat up, looking around. Apart of me wanted to clean this up, make it look nice. But another part of me just pushed that feeling away, and said, you're not planning on impressing anyone anyways, are you?

You're right, I replied.

I sluggishly walked over to my computer. I plopped in my rolling-chair, turning my computer on.

"Good morning, Darren!" my computer manually said. During my spare time in this room, I learned to program. The first thing I did when I had begun to understand programming was program my computer to say good morning and good night to me.

Perhaps I had done it out of sheer loneliness, but I like to think I just did it because it was the first thing I learned how to program.

I sighed. Everyday, I went online to forums, and browsed. I looked at things I could potentially purchase. My grandmother had left me with too much to spend. Today I decided to purchase another programming book.

"Oh! Darren, it's your birthday! Happy birthday!" my computer chanted. I wanted to smile, but then I realized my computer had been programmed to remember this.

I clicked on the 'Look inside!' link to see if the programming book would be worth purchasing when a certain smell caught my attention.

And damn, did it smell horrible.

"Oh God, has it always smelled like this?" I said to myself.

Immidentally, I thought of someone knocking on my door. They demand to come in. They refuse to leave. I have to show them my room. How disgusting of a life I live. How I decided not to go to college, how I decided to live the rest of my days here ---

Without missing a beat, I stand up. The stench is coming from the three full trash bags in my room. Those 14-months ago passed by quickly. I had tried to minimilise how many trash bags I used, and these three seemed about to burst. I decided that today, on my brithday, I would re-enter the world for a few minutes.

As I took a quick shower and brushed my teeth (something I did on a regular basis, I wouldn't want to become greasy and gross), I thought about taking a quick walk.

I mean, it's my birthday, right?

Would it be such a sin if a shut-in like me took a walk? It's probably a nice summer day. It's the middle of June, after all.

I threw on a t-shirt and shorts. I tied on my shoes that seemed so fresh. I hadn't worn them in 14-months, after all.

I managed to take all three trash bags at once.

"Alright." I said to myself.

And with one hand, I opened that door, that opened so freshly.

And stepped outside.

And watched the soggy, damp water as rain flushed through the cracks of the gutter in front of me.

It was raining.

A woman rushed past me and slightly bumped into me. She was soaking wet.

"Ah! Sorry! In a rush here!" she excused herself so passively, and rushed into her apartment, which was two doors down from mine.

Ah, why should I be surprised?

This world has done nothing but let me down.

"This world . . ." I muttered to myself.

For a moment, I watched the rain angrily plush down on the concert thirty feet below me.

". . . has never seemed so colorless."

Author Note - I plan on releasing a chapter a day. Tomorrow chapter 2 will be up. Please, if you find any, give me any feedback you can, such as if any improvements to my writing could be made. Thanks for reading!