0416

Now

"We need to stop." My voice came out gravelly and I tried to wipe my eyes, despite knowing crying for hours straight would be impossible to hide.

"Ryan, we have to keep moving or they'll catch us. It's been on the news reports on the radio, he's already tracked down a couple people that didn't run and killed them. I know you're still in shock, but--"

"No, it's not that. We have to change our appearances, that way there's no chance of him finding us. Cut our hair, get contacts...the works."

"Oh," he considered this, moving into the right lane to take the next exit to a mall. "You're right. We should get some stuff too; more clothes, toothbrushes, food, you know?"

"Yeah. The only thing is, all my money is on my card. If we use that he'll be able to track us," I pursed my lips, "unless we can make it seem like we're still heading north when we really go west. If we sent an email to our families saying we were headed to New Hampshire..."

"We would seem like the naive, hopeless teenagers everyone expects us to be and it would give us a chance to really put some distance between him and us," Luka finished, a grin on his face. "Diabolical."

///

"Oh my god I look like a different person," I breathe, taking in the white blond color of my hair and the dark brown of my contacted irises.

"It doesn't suit you as well as the midnight hair and blue eyes, but I've gotta say you don't look bad at all, kid." Luka teases, throwing an arm around my shoulder as we head to the food court.

"You're literally only two days older than me," I remind him with a scowl. "Besides, weren't you supposed to be getting a different look too? All I see is a buzz cut and green contacts."

"Okay, listen, there's only so much I can do! And being completely honest, people are less likely to recognize me anyway."

"What are you talking about?"

"Well, for one thing, I'm not a pretty, bubbly cheerleader and town sweetheart."

"Not bubbly," I mutter.

"And for another...well, come on, Ryan. How many times have you heard someone say all black people look the same? I hate it but it doesn't change the fact that it's true that people don't look at our faces as much as they look at yours; no one hears any of the words except the one about the skin color."

"I never even considered that. But I guess it does make sense...I'm sorry. I wish it weren't like that."

"Don't worry about it right now--survive first, combat racism later." Luka shrugs off the new backpack full of supplies and hands it to me. "You look through here and figure out if I forgot to buy anything while I grab us some chick-fil-a, and then we can hit the road."

"Okay."  Two t shirts, a hoodie, jeans, sweatpants, a tank top, and sofees; a toothbrush, face wash and lotion, a box of tampons, a first aid kit, and a burner cell.

"This looks pretty comprehensive," I told him when he returned, handing me a large fry. "How'd you even remember tampons?"

"Dude, do you know how many times Mackenzie has wailed through the entire house because she doesn't have any?" We both fell quiet at the mention of Alex's older sister; my cheeks grew red at the thought of how much she'd hate me when she found out what happened. You're despicable, a little voice reproached me.

"I hope she's holding up alright." I bit my lip. "D'you think their mom came home to...grieve?"

"Doubtful. I mean, Eric is really hostile and...well, it's not like she ever cared all that much." Lianna had left her family when Kenzie was seven and Alex was five, and while she called every few years the most they'd seen of her since was photos of her on Facebook. Alex had always claimed it didn't bother him, but...I had reason to believe it did. "If they didn't have a dad like Eric I don't know how they would've turned out."

I winced. Even with Eric...

"We'd better get going," I said, shaking off my thoughts. We still need to run by the apple shack and send that email, and we've been here too long already."

"You're being very pragmatic," Luka said with narrow eyes as they neared a computer. "You know, most people do that when they're trying to push away turbulent feelings they don't want to deal with, and it's unhealthy."

"Yes, but most people weren't just almost shot and killed and on the run for their lives. I'm trying to help keep us safe."

"Okay, whatever you say. Just...don't lose yourself in the process, okay? If you want to take a break from survival and have a little catharsis, it doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong." 

My mouth twitched into a smile. "Thank you. Maybe I'll take you up on that one day."