It's Never A Good Idea To Kidnap A Kidnapper... (1D Story)

Chapter one

 Elizibeth's pov

My butt is buzzing.

That is all I can register right now. Maybe it's and earthquake. In my butt??

 Ok maybe I should stand up and check before going all ape-shit on my butt. But I'm in a meeting with the other gangleadar right now and I don't want to make a bad impression by checking out my buzzing butt. But what if it is some sort of earthquake, what would I do??

Hmmmmayb- My thoughts were very rudley cut off by some idiot who just happens to be my best friend, nudging me.

"Hey, Liz"  He whispers, nudging me with his elbow ............

"Not now Bryan I am kind of dealing with a huge crisis." I whisper back.

 Now, where was I? Oh yeah, my butt is still buzzing...ok now just think. What would a normal person do if their butt was buzzing?

Man, I wish I was normal, but normality just isn't in my soul. Maybe if it was, my problem would be solved. I blame everything on my parents. That is what you do when you are messed up people.

Blame it on the parents, it was their choice after all to do the nasty without a condom...

Tut tut.

Now, where was I?

Oh yeah, my butt is buzzing. Well maybe if I shoot my butt? 

No that wouldn't work

Brain?

...

Wow, nothing.  At the worst of times, you throw in your pessimistic opinion, but right now. RIGHT NOW. You won't help me. I am actually speechless.

Good I like you better that way. Oh, that? it's nothing.

Aw I almost missed you. 

Ha Ha Ha...funny joke.

 My brain is the official pessimist of the year.

 "Lizzzzzzzz," I feel this incessant poking on my left shoulder.

 "Lizzzzzzyyyyyyyy," The poking continues. I Ignore him he doesn't know what it's like to go into a perpetual crisis such as the buzzing of a butt. 

"ELIZEBETH!"He screams

"WHAT!??"

The whole room turns to look at us.  "No! go on, go on, don't mind my friend." Then I cover one side of my mouth and using my acting skills, putting on a sympathetic face, whisper shout.

"I'm afraid he hasn't taken his pills this morning." They all look at him with sympathetic looks on their faces and then nod their heads and  go back to the meeting. Well that was close... I know that it will be my time to talk soon and I haven't gotten anything to say. We are at a meeting with a neighboring gang who are now right now talking among themselves they want me to kidnap some other gang-leadar's son like I have done many times before. Right now they are just coming up with the money that they are going to pay me, and the price on the ransom note. I am not a cheap empolyee, let just say that. Not to brag, but in the world of kidnappers I am at the top of the list. I have kidnapped countless celebrities, politicians, some of the toughest gang-leadars,  and serial killars. Soon I am planning to kidnap Barak Obama. Let's just say he and I are not the best of friends.

NOT NOW, YOUR FREAKING BUTT IS STILL BUZZING, AND YOU ARE BRAGGING TO ME, YOUR BRIAN HOW GOOD YOU ARE AT KIDNAPPING WHICH, BY THE WAY, YOU WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN ABLE TO DO WITHOUT ME. RIGHT NOW YOUR  BUTT IS BUZZING SO SHUT UP.

Touche.

Bryan scowls at me with angry, electric blue eyes, shoving his honey curls out of the way. I have to admit even though he is my best friend he is quite hot.

  Not now, now is not the time to think about your best friend's hotness now is the time to think about your STILL BUZZING BUTT. 

Ok, ok calm down no need to shout.

 Woah hold up I AM YOU, YOU IMBICILLE.

 HA! see you just called yourself an imbecile. I snicker at my brain  and Bryan gives me a weird look.

 You know what, its useless talking to you, forget about me and concentrate on  your buzzing butt.

Bryan shakes his head."You know that I know that you are talking to yourself again right?? You know, sometimes I question how you are really a wanted criminal and a professional kidnapper. I mean why you, or better yet how?."

Ok this really needs to stop, my butt still hasn't stopped buzzing.

Bryan leans in with a stupid smirk on his face, so that his lips are brushing my ear.

"Liz I think you should answer your phone and stop talking about butts."

Oh.

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VOTE, COMMENT AND FOLLOW

MY CARROTS ;)