I will fix you

Chapter 5

(Grace's Pov)

I sat in the Reck room, away from the books for once. After the group therapy, all eyes were on my as if they were waiting for something to happen. I hate it. Nothing is going to happen. EVER! The feeling of been watched, breaks my attention away from the words on the page. I can't focus. Instead I put my mind somewhere else...on paper. For the first time in almost a year, I picked up a paintbrush and expressed my pain and transferred it into an image.

To others though it just looks like shapes, doodle and randomness on a page but to me it is much more. Art has always been my strong point. I can paint decent  portraits and landscapes but I find expression the best in situations like these. My mind switched off all of the talking and staring around me and focuses only on feeling free.

No one can control what I do with a paintbrush or change what I see on the page. They can chose to interpret it however they want but not even the voice can change the truth behind it.

It still looks like a three year old's work though!

I don't care.

Yeah, you do.

It's been precisely three hours since therapy which means three hours of awkwardness. I can constantly here the time passing. That's what this place does to you, it's as if your trained to count the seconds you suffer. The only person who stops that time for me is Ty and I haven't seen him since the incident. It's crazy what he does to me. I can't begin to explain it.

At this exact moment, apart from the voice, the only thing that controls me is time.

Tick. Tock.

And that would be one reason why. The time I have been here just keeps getting longer. The reason I came here, that day, keeps getting further into the past and that I fear. According to the voice as well, I should fear the future but I don't know why. Only time will tell. Now you see how time controls me. Yet they still wonder why I refuse to speak out. If I don't know whats to come how can I be sure of what actions I should make.

Just stop with the analysing already.

How can I?

On second thought, I find it enjoyable. It makes it easier for me to laugh at you.

Great.

I know it's amazing.

I sighed, dropping my paintbrush and leaning back into my seat. I am so close to defeat it is unbelievable. I still believe Ty is the only one keeping me here, even if I don't know why. At my movements, everyone snaps towards me whilst I only look down at my work. Sometimes I don't even comprehend what i put on the paper until after I have finished it. Only now as I look at it, do I realise that I have basically explained my story of how I ended up here on my work but no one else will know that.

I describe the situation at home and how and when the pain started. The noises that circle my brain and the screams that bury themselves inside me, never leaving. Images of darkness, fear, hope. Pleading faces and shaking hands. Everything from that night and the months that led up to it, everything the people in here have attempted to get out of me, all of it on one piece of white paper. All the answers right in front of them.

Don't forget me.

Of course lets no forget how I describe her, the voice. How she came to be and how I can't get her to leave. She arrives somewhere on the middle of the page, the drawings that represent my time here and from then on she is in everything image. That's because she never leaves. 

You got that right. Tick tock.

I slam the table in annoyance as I stand up and attempt to make my to the roof top garden. Unfortunately one particular person decides to turn up now and my mind tells me to stay.

'Grace wait!' Ty calls, obviously recognising my shadow. I still don't see how mine can be different. I come to a halt, taking a deep breath before spinning on my heels to come face to face with the hazelnut haired boy. 'Hey, how you doing?' He smiled but I stayed silent. Alone with Ty I could speak but right now we are surrounded by loads of people, looking straight at us. My voice doesn't exist. 'Grace?...Oh right you only talk to me. Do you want to go somewhere else?' He suggested.

I did something I never thought I would do. I grabbed a hold of his hand and guided him out of the room and away from everyone else. I was aiming for the roof top garden but I stopped when I spotted some people heading up there. Instead Ty and I ended up in an empty corridor where I learnt against the wall before sliding down to the floor. 

'Better?' He asked and I nodded before agreeing.

'Better.' He smiled again before blindly sitting down next to me, trying not to bump into anything. Once he was sat down, he scooted up close to me, so our shoulders were touching. 

'So why do you talk to me but not anyone else?' He questioned, turning to face me,

'I don't know. When I first bumped into you, I didn't want to talk to you but It just happened. I figured that it happened for a reason like I can trust you.' I explained.

'Well you can trust me. Whenever your ready you can tell me anything and I promise not to tell anyone else.' He said with all honesty. 

'Thank you. I'm sorry about your brother by the way, I know what it's like to loose someone close to you.' I apologised. Why did I add that last bit? 

'It's alright, it wasn't your fault. I just wish it didn't happen but everything unfortunately happens for a reason. I may have lost my sight and my brother but because of that, I met you. It doesn't have to be bad forever.' He admitted, making me think of my own situation. 

'But how long does it have to be bad before it starts getting good again?' I asked, pulling my legs closer to my chest.

'That's up to you. You can chose to live in the bad life or you can be open and make it better.' He replied.

'How is it you know what to say?' 

'My Aunt and Uncle always had a way with words, so I guess I just learnt from them.' He shrugged.

'They seem like great people.' I confessed and he smiled again.

'They are, I see them as more as my parents than my real parents but that doesn't matter now.' He muttered sadly. 'Do you have anyone close to you that visits?'

'Nobody knows I'm here.' I sighed. 

'Why?' He quizzed, curiously.

'I signed myself in here. I had no where else to go, I had to hide.' I whispered, tears forming in my eyes. 'I just wish one person knew because I need him now, more than ever.' 

'Who?' He asked quietly.

'My best friend. He's just like my brother and if I had time to tell him where I  was going, I would have.' I sobbed, picturing Danny in my mind.

'I'm so sorry and I know you probably don't want to explain why you had no time to me right now but I want you to know I am here for you whilst your best friend can't be.' He said, placing his hand on my knee.

'Thank you Ty.' I choked through tears, leaning into him so my head was resting on his shoulder. He wrapped his arm around my waist, leaning his own head on my whilst whispering comforting words to me. 

As we sat in the hall, I could tell someone was watching us and listening in but right nwo I didn't care if they heard my voice or not. I felt safe here in Ty's arms and that is all I need to start opening up. He is all I need for now.

..............

Sorry it is short. I had trouble with this chapter, Icouldn't think of ideas.

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@1dnarnianlou