People are People

Kyle

Hey. What's up? I'm Kyle, I am FtM trans, and my birth name is Kylie, but I go by Kyle to my friends, because they actually accept me as who I am. The rest of the school picks on me, and calls me a freak because my name is Kylie (to them) but I look and act like a guy (because I really am)

I have always been more masculine then my girl friends, but I didn't really call myself a boy because I didn't think I could. I thought that because I had a girl body that I had to be a girl.

My parents normally aren't home until about an hour after I get home from school, so I have had to go down the street to go shopping and stuff since I was in 5th grade. In sixth grade I bought a boy shirt that I liked. I also got a pair of boys jeans that were a little baggy because all they had in the girl section was skinny jeans. I wore those jeans almost everyday, and I would wear solid colored shirts that were white or blue all the time, or I'd wear my boy shirt. And I basically always wore my hair in a ponytail so I'd look a little more like a boy.

Then in the summer between sixth and seventh grade I bought more boys clothes and wore those more. As I did, I started feeling better. Except, I was very large in the chest area for my age, which made me uncomfortableness, because they showed that I was a girl. So I ended up getting gauze and tying it around my chest as tight as I could to make my chest look flatter.

Then in seventh grade I invited this girl, Veronica, who started acting really nice to me out of nowhere, over to my house. She was really polite and we had fun. But then she kept her eye on me while I was changing into my pajamas, and caught that I had a makeshift binder on. She took a picture of me while I had been adjusting it, and posted it on facebook to show to everyone that I was actually a girl, but I was a freak and dressed like a boy.

Ever since then I've been scared to be myself. I started buying more girl clothes, but the simple shirts that were just solid colored, not any of the flowery junk. I started to style my hair girly again, with curls, and little braids. I even wore makeup sometimes.

Because I started acting more girly, everyone in town thought it had all just been a phase, but I feel like I died a little inside every time I had to buy a new bra, or wear a dress or a skirt.