Rock, Pirate, Ninja

Chapter Four

Chapter 4

The bathroom door slammed shut and the sound of muffled vomiting startled Tetsuo awake. Could she still be sick from the deli? That was two days ago and she had seemed fine earlier.

He began picking up his clothes scattered about the room and got dressed, then waited for her on the edge of the bed.

The toilet flushed, the door opened, and she came out looking pale and tired. She drooped a little when she saw him sitting up in bed waiting for her.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“What’s wrong? Are you sick?”

She looked away as if searching for the right words, then sighed and shook her head. Tetsuo’s mouth went dry as chalk. “You’re pregnant. That’s why you didn’t want to drink tonight.”

Weakly, she covered her mouth and sat next to him, but not quite close enough to touch him.

“How long have you known?”

“Since Cincinnati.”

“For two weeks? Did you take a pregnancy test?”

“Yes.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Does it matter?” she asked with an edge in her voice.

“Yes, it does. I don’t like secrets.”

“Our whole lives are lies and secrets, Tetsuo.”

He reached up and gently turned her chin towards him. “Not between us.”

She softened a little, “I’m sorry, I just didn’t want you to worry. We have enough to worry about just making sure we live to see the next day.”

Tetsuo sighed, attempting to fight the panic that threatened to settle in. She was right. The last thing they both needed was a baby. How could they possibly bring a child into the life they were living—a life where they weren’t guaranteed survival into the next day, yet alone the life of a child?

He shook his head, and sighed.

“What?” she asked.

“How did this happen? Why weren’t you—?”

“Why wasn’t I ‘what’, Tetsuo?” she retorted, the edge coming back into her voice.

Tetsuo rubbed his temples.

“No, please, Tetsuo. What were you going to say? I’m very interested.”

“Never mind. It was stupid.”

Vasha slowly released him from her glare and stood up determinedly, grabbing a glass and heading to the sink to fill it with water. She came out, her eyes hard, and said, “I’m keeping it.”

“Of course.” Tetsuo cleared his throat, taken aback by the accusation in her voice. “I wouldn’t have suggested—” he stopped short, suddenly exhausted. Would he have suggested it? Would he be tempted to do such a thing? Would it be selfish to end the pregnancy or would it be selfish to keep the baby living in their circumstances?

She sat down next to him on the bed, putting a hand on his knee, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have implied anything. Are you…happy?”

“Happy? How can I be happy about this, Vasha?”

“I thought you loved me,” she said, the muscles in her face tensing.

“I do love you! That is why I’m so scared. How am I supposed to protect you and a baby? Don’t you remember how many times we have almost died in the last month?”