Seeking My Soul

Chapter 1

I was running so fast I could barely feel my legs. I looked behind me and saw no one, so I slowed down and finally came to a halt. After taking in a few deep breaths I crumpled down on the ground. I sat there, on the street, with my head in my hands and could still feel the loud thumping of my heart against my chest. I didn't realise I was crying until my shirt was drenched with tears. Before long, I was bawling my eyes out to such an extent that I didn't notice the rain pouring down hard upon me.

I wiped my tears on my soaked sleeve, and at long last mustered up the courage to stand up straight. As I suspected, my legs started wobbling uncontrollably and gave way. Ugh. I felt like jelly. To my surprise, I regained my balance and started walking home, unaware of how long I had been sitting there sobbing. I abstained from trying to take out my phone and find out what time it was. But because I am so very amazing, I did it anyways. 5:11 P.M. More than two hours. GREAT. Time to get my ass kicked by my parents. They must be worried sick wondering where I could be. What would I tell them? Definitely NOT the truth. They would die of horror if I told them I almost got pommeled by a bunch of freaking monster gangsters!

YEP. This was all my fault. If I hadn't called that fuck-head a bitch in the first place, and had carried on with my own little loser-ish business, I wouldn't be standing in this piece of shit right now. UGH. So what if he called me "Curtain-Head"? I could've just ignored it and moved on with my life, like I normally do. But NO. Its better to just be invisible than to get your ass almost kicked by the most viscous and dangerous of creatures out there. And by CREATURES I mean THEM. Monty and his pack of dicks, better known as my bullies.

Ever since the first day of high school, they made sure that my life was a living hell. And even after three freaking years they hadn't stopped. To think they had a little bit of humanity hidden deep down inside them. And all this torture just because I was different. If I had known they would treat me like this, I never would have worn the hijab. Anyways. What's done is done right? I can't go back in time and change all my mistakes. As much as I want to right now.

Ah. Home at last! I entered through the back door since I knew my parents would shower me with questions if they saw me. I walked in expecting to hear their loud worried voices, but to my surprise, it was awfully quiet. I warily walked into the kitchen, keeping the sounds of my footsteps extremely low. As soon as I realised there was no one there, I let out a sigh of relief.

When I heard the sound of my stomach churning, I came to the conclusion that I was starving, and thus walked towards the fridge to see if I could lay my hands on something. Knowing that the fridge would be the first place I would go, my parents had taped a hand written note to it.

Ayman,

Do not worry. We have not been kidnapped by aliens if that's what you were thinking. Your dad and I have just gone shopping and won't be back until late. Dinner's in the fridge. Don't do anything stupid. Peace out.

Wow. My parents and their unusual sense of humour. They actually think they're funny. Hahaha. Well that's good! They won't be home till late, and that gives me time to just BREATHE! I skipped up to my room and jumped on my bed. I laid there for about five minutes just thinking about what could have happened today. Phew. It was a close one. I'm never going to do anything reckless like that again. Oh who am I kidding? They're probably going to make my life even more miserable because of what I did. There's no escaping it. OH WELL. Only one more year of high school, and then a lifetime full of bliss...

I hopped out of bed and decided to take a nice hot bath. YES. That would make me feel so much more at ease. I climbed into the tub and let my mind wander away. Taking a bath was the only time I could actually THINK. I could lay in the water for hours without feeling the need to come out. I felt so much more relaxed when I was floating. I closed my eyes and thought of my happiest memory. I was five and my sister and I were playing in the backyard, making mud pies out of the soggy dirt. We were covered all in mud and looked like mud monsters. We made mud angels and laughed so hard while rolling around in the wet mud. It was raining slightly and a rainbow was forming above us. That was the first time I ever saw a rainbow, and I remember it so well. It was the most beautiful thing we had ever seen. When mom came out and saw what we were doing she was so furious that she could've eaten us alive, but that's a different story...

That was a long time ago. It was when I had my sister. But now she's gone. My sister Manny died a few years ago, and so did my happiness. Whenever I have a rough day, I always end up thinking about the time I spent with Manny. We were like two peas in a pod. Although she was two years younger than me, I shared EVERYTHING with her. She was the ONLY person I could confide in. Now that she's gone, I feel like a lifeless little toad.

I forced myself to finally come out of my little daydream and out of the bath tub. I dried myself and put on a worn out t-shirt and some pyjamas I could find. I plopped on the bed and let my dreams take me away.