Dear, Feelings, January 25, 2016
What can I say? I hate you sometimes. Occasionally I wish that you'd disappear from my sad body altogether. Every night I go to bed wondering what is so wrong with me, and it is all your fault. I think that if I had no feelings at all I'd be much better off.
Why must I be so sensitive? So quick to anger? Or so easily hurt?
Why must I hate myself so much? How did I even get this way? If I'd asked for this then I should hate myself for making such a moronic decision.
I cannot even think of something good about myself without help anymore. I sometimes think I deserve to die, for all the incredibly dumb things I do or have done.
Living with anxiety and depression is Hell. If I get yelled at by anyone I quickly think of all the ways that I could quietly extinguish the dimly flickering candle that is my life and soul.
My eyes do not shine as much as they used to, nor do I love as much as I can. Feelings, why do you get in the way of my life? Why are you not capable of staying happy for one single moment!? My innocent curiosity hurts me more than it helps me now. Should I just...stop?
Do I leave this mundane life of mine to go on the next adventure with God or Satan or whoever will take me? I think I should. My heart yearns for a break from all the pain and torture that you cause me, Feelings.
Why? What Vengeful spirit is using you against me? When are you going to give me time to breathe? TIME TO BE MYSELF? I NEED IT.
Please. Go Away. Leave me alone..
Sincerely, The broken girl.
YOU ARE READING
Unnoticed
PoetryI wrote this a few months ago. my dad thought it was the best writing he's ever read. he's an English major so it must have been great. its depressing though. I suggest that you only read it if you like sad. enjoy ~ Rosy Jane McCullough
