Ineffable (m.e)

X.

Matt grabbed my hand as we walked into the house. It smelled like cookies. When I looked over to the kitchen, sure enough, there were Jack and Jack making cookies.

"Look who's up," said Johnson. I smiled at him as I walked over and hugged him.

"Can I have some cookie dough?" I asked, seeing the sweet goodness in all it's glory behind him.

"Sure. Have as much as you want." I let go of him and began to eat the uncooked cookies as if someone was going to take them away from me.

"Slow down, I want some!" Matt said, rushing over and eating some too. The Jacks shrugged and began pilling cookie dough squares into their mouths, as well. Within minutes the cookie dough was gone. Now for the cookies.

I reached over and began eating the cookies as quick as possible, shoving them into my mouth. The boys followed in soon after, pushing each other trying to get to the cookies. While they did theat, I finished off all the cookies and snuck into my room. I closed the door and locked it behind me, turning around.

What I saw frightened me.

On my bed sat my ex-boyfriend. He smiled a devilish smile, then soon stood up, pulling my close.

"You can't run now, Leena," He whispered into my ear. I screamed loudly, hoping the boys would hear. He grabbed my wrists tightly and threw me onto the bed. He ripped off my clothes, and his too. I began to cry, not understanding why he was so crazy about this stuff. I screamed again, hoping the boys would hear.

"Shut the fuck up and don't move or else I'll kill you," he said. I had no choice but to get raped by him. Yay.

He slid into me and began sucking on my neck. I closed my eyes and tried to imagine it was Matt instead. Gross, I know, but anything would be better than this. Needless to say, it didn't work. I could hear the boys trying to break down the door, but I didn't say anything to them. Yes, this hurt, but if I didn't do it, he would kill me.

He pounded his body against mine, then began kissing my chest. This was nasty and painful and I wanted it to stop. That was the last thing that was going to happen, though, and that was the problem.

I don't feel as though I need to go into detail for the rest. They boys called the cops and they got here ten minutes later. He was already out my window when they got here.

I laid under the covers naked while the cops asked me questions. Once they left, Matt rushed in. He said that Johnson and Gilinsky had gone out to look for my crazy exboyfriend.

"Leena I'm so sorry I let this happen, I should've never left your side. I'm so sorry..." He took in a deep breath, then let it out slowly.

"Don't blame yourself, please. It wasn't your fault. I'm used to him hurting me by now, don't worry. It's... it's okay. This is going to sound weird, but could you grab me some clothes?"

"How do you pull yourself together so well?" He stood up, tears running down his face. He grabbed me some sweats, undergarments, and one of his hoodies. He looked away while I put them on. Once I was done I ran up to him and hugged him from behind (I was sort of surprised that I could walk, much less run). He turned around in my arms and hugged me back.

"I love you, Leena. I won't leave your side again."

"I love you too, Matthew. I'm glad you won't leave my side." He stroked my hair lightly, then let go of me. He looked into my eyes and fake smiled at me. His tears were dried by now, but his eyes were still watery. A tear escaped his eyes, but I quickly wiped it away.

I still didn't know why I wasn't crying. Maybe imagining Matt instead of my ex-boyfriend on top of me actually helped... Yes, I know, gross, but if it helps then I'm doing it.