All I Wanted: A Joshayley Fanfic

Chapter 3 - When It Rains

*HAYLEY'S POV*

The downpour was relentless. I was lying on the sofa with Chad's head in my lap, half watching my favourite movie, Pet Sematary, and half pondering the events of the day - specifically, Zac's funeral. Some small part of me was also contemplating the rain outside the bay window of the sitting room, occasionally conjuring up whimsical, depressed lyrics.

Chad had come to stay with me while New Found Glory took a few days' breather from touring. He and I spoke almost every day via Twitter, Skype, phone calls and emails, but it wasn't the same as having him here, with me, in the flesh. Having a long-distance relationship was often frustrating - Chad, as the lead guitarist of the band, was always away doing shows, as was I with Paramore, and the brief occasions we had breaks rarely coincided. It was why I treasured moments like this so dearly. Usually, I would have been giving him my full attention, yet today I was on edge, with little to talk about.

I stroked his head absentmindedly, watching Dale Midkiff (who played Louis Creed) stalking through the creepy burial ground, and thinking how the film was doing little to distract me from thoughts of churches and graveyards and funerals. Once the screaming had resumed, I sat up, irked, and swiftly switched the television off at the set.

Chad turned around, looking bemused. "What did you do that for?"

I shook my head. I didn't want to tell him about the encounter with Josh Farro. "I have a headache, that's all." My voice cracked a little.

In response, Chad scooted over on the couch, concerned, and put his arm round me. I leaned into him instinctively, but it didn't bring me any comfort today.

"Hey, honey," he coaxed my chin up so I was looking at him. "You okay? I know when you turn Pet Sematary off that something's up," he joked. I laughed hollowly. "I'm sorry I couldn't make it to the funeral today. I wanted to come here earlier so I could support you, but the show was running late..."

"I know. Don't worry about it."

It was nighttime now; the clock in the corner read 11:45 PM, and I was exhausted. It had been a long, draining day. The sky was pitch black and there were no stars - they were obscured by grey wisps of cloud I could just make out in the darkness. My house was cold; I'd turned the heating off two days ago when Franklin had been boiling in the late stages of a short-lived heat wave that was supposed to have lasted three weeks. I shivered, and Chad moved his arm so it was wrapped fully around me.

Seeing Josh at the funeral was making me feel indescribably strange, for reasons unknown to me. His face was plaguing my thoughts, popping up at regular intervals, and I found myself reminded of the last time I'd seen him - it was the last show we'd played with Josh and Zac. We were at Orlando, Florida; it was just before Christmas. The two of them had told us a couple of months before that they were quitting the band, around the time when we were filming the Playing God video, but up until that point I had tried not to dwell on it. I remembered how when we were playing Ignorance, I went to stand by Josh on the stage as I sang. He had frowned and backed away.

After the performance, he and Zac left without a word. A few days later, he had posted that infamous post on his Blogger account, accusing me of being manipulated by my management, treating the rest of the group as my solo project, ectcetera, ectcetera. Even just thinking about those hurtful, irrelevant statements made my eyes prick. I felt myself welling up. Such an ugly end to what had been a great friendship... and relationship.

I needed to distract myself.

I placed my arms tightly around Chad's neck and quickly pressed my lips against his. He looked surprised by my sudden change of mood, yet he didn't complain. Returning the kiss carefully, haltingly, his eyes were open - probing mine, trying to read my thoughts. I was impatient. I threw myself into the kiss, opening my mouth and tasting his tongue.