Just A Friend

Chapter 7

Days past. Then weeks. Then, before I knew it, I'd been working for Lorne Michaels for over a month.

And it had been two weeks without lunch with Jimmy.

A picture you're used to seeing in bright colors and contrast looks so dull and dim in plain black and white. A life formally enchanted by the laughter of a sweet coworker is much the same once that laughter must be avoided at all costs.

The days were passing somberly and slowly, each filled with new mundane tasks and more fake reasons to dart away any time he came by to talk. "Lorne asked me to do something." "I need to use the restroom." "Oops, I forgot to lock my front door." With every excuse, his eyes looked more sad; and with every excuse, my heart became more injured.

Perhaps avoiding a broken heart is hurting me more than an actual broken heart ever could.

But I know that's not the case. Someone with my experience should know. My mother has never loved me, my brother didn't love me enough to keep us safe, and my father did love me only to die and leave me as a wanderer in the world. Every friend I ever had eventually realized I just wasn't worth it and left me in the dust. I couldn't let him be added to that list. Never ever ever....it could never be his fault.

It was another cold November day. Dust floated in the light peering in through the window. I was sitting on the floor of my apartment, organizing my bookshelf, trying to keep my mind off of what my heart wouldn't shut up about. It would be a much better tactic to go out, but I couldn't risk seeing him on a date again. That was just too much...

My clumsy hands knocked against the side of the bookshelf as I pushed up a stack and my large London-decorated storage box fell onto the floor. "Dang it..." I muttered, scurrying to clean up the mess. Only one thing had fallen out of it. I held my breath when I saw what it was.

The Velvet Underground

I picked up the record, memories flooding into my mind. Suddenly, I knew what I should do. There was no other solution. I was being completely selfish; while trying to save my heart, I'd lost a friend. I grabbed my phone and dialed a number. It went straight to voicemail.

BEEP

"Hey there stranger! It's Elenore. I guess I've missed you, but I'll leave a message anyway. Things have been a bit weird between us lately and it's totally my fault. I guess I've been avoiding you a little and I'm really sorry for it. We should go to lunch again like we used to. I miss that....I miss you. I'm very sorry. See you tomorrow! Agh....no...." I deleted the message and hung up the phone, cradling my head in my hands in defeat. "It's too late...." I whispered to myself in the quiet loneliness of the night.

Just then, the doorbell rang. I got up in curiosity and peered through the peephole. Am I hallucinating?

I opened the door. "Hey Fallon! Fancy seeing you here."

He was holding two sets of Chinese food, a nervous but charming smile on his face. "Hey! I brought you some noodles."

I smiled back, feeling a wave of guilt about how I'd been treating him. "That's so sweet of you! Thanks!" I said, taking the little box of food. "Come on in," I added, holding the door open.

"Sweet," he said, walking in from the cold. I locked the door behind him.

He sat on one couch and I sat on the other. For a while, we ate in silence. Finally, I stuck my chopsticks in my empty container and decided to fess up. "Hey, I'm sorry for how things have been lately..." I said, looking at the floor.

He waved his hand and gulped down his food. "That's alright. It happens."

"No," I said. "It shouldn't. I shouldn't have treated you the way I did. I'm really sorry."

He smiled. "I forgive you, Nori."

It was so nice to hear someone call me that again.

I got up from my couch and sat beside him. "Wanna watch something?" I asked.

"Sure!"

I clicked on the TV and found a Wheel of Fortune rerun marathon. We watched for a couple hours, shouting out guesses and laughing when we were miserably off. Around 1 AM, Jimmy figured he should go home and I agreed. We threw out our trash from dinner and he slipped on his coat.

"Well, thanks for dropping by," I said, still slightly laughing from a joke he'd just told. "That was really fun."

"Yeah, we should do this more often."

I nodded. "We should," I said softly, though I hadn't meant to almost-whisper. He bit his lip and looked down at mine for the slightest instant, and I stared into his sparkling eyes. He leaned in closer and a rush of panic flooded my veins.

"Well, goodnight!" I said quickly. He blinked, snapping out of it.

"Yeah, uh...goodnight!" he said, seeming disappointed. I shut the door and slid down to the ground.

"What a day," I muttered.