Suicidal Smile

Chapter 1: Just another year

This story is copyright to bnstorymaker

all rights reserved ©2013

: Trevor's PoV:

When I awoke, I scanned my surroundings, and my eyes landed on the black walls that had Marilyn Manson posters plastered on them. My room had become my only sanctuary, the only place I could get peace from the world.

I couldn't have peace from my own parents who hated every bit of my existence. They had me unexpectedly and blamed me as if I was the one who ruined their lives, their dreams. They were embarrassed of me and whenever my attempts failed, they would call their friends and my school saying that I was suffering from "family issues".

School was something I despised. I was that kid that got bullied by everyone. Popular kids seen me as a devil worshipping freak and the nerds were too scared to be my friends. I didn't like to talk anyway. I stayed to myself and let them think what they wanted. I ate alone and did projects alone. I was better off that way and after a while I stopped caring.

I was the boy everyone knew or so they thought. They never knew that I was a boy struggling to survive, to exist in this harsh, unforgiving world. They didn't know that I had made several suicide attempts.

Once my alarm clock went off for the third time, I finally snapped out of my thoughts. I looked down at it in disgust and slammed my fist on it with such force a few buttons popped off.

"I don't even know why I set the damn thing!" I said swinging my legs off my bed.

I walked lazily to my bathroom and turned the lights on when I stepped inside. I brushed my teeth and showered even though there was no point. The kids at school would still say nasty things about me. Who knew what they would say today?

After I finished dressing in my usual black "emo" attire, I trudged downstairs into the kitchen. I was hoping that no one was in the kitchen so I could have a peaceful bowl of cereal, but that wasn't the case. When I entered the the kitchen my mother was inside mixing something inside of a metal bowl.

"Hello Trev," My mother said without raising her head.

"Hi," I mumbled so low that she could barely hear me.

I tried to retreat from the kitchen, but she called to me.

"Would you like some pancakes? A big strong boy like you needs a good breakfast before school."

I snorted, "I am far from healthy and I'm not hungry. I'll just grab an apple."

"Trevor, let's just pretend your "accident" never happened. It's a new day so be happy for once. And it's the first day of school, maybe you'll make some new friends."

"Maybe not..."

"Fine if you don't want breakfast get out of the kitchen. You'll be in my way. Your father will take you to school."

"I'm fine. I'll walk."

I quickly rushed out of the kitchen and grabbed my skateboard and bookbag.

I hated the first day of school. There were so many old faces that I could care less about and new teachers meant new shit. I would have to introduce myself to the whole class as if most of my classmates didn't know me already. Hell, everyone knew me and I could see it now.

As I give my shitty description about myself, they would gossip and probably throw a few pencils or paper balls at me when the teacher wasn't looking. Whatever. It didn't matter. Nothing mattered to me anymore.

"It's senior year, Trevor. You should be happy. You get to graduate then go to college and then you can enjoy college life." My mom once said to me over the summer.