YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

Chapter 1. Angry words

Chapter 1

Jamila's POV*

As I got off the bus 171 the cold air hit me strong in the face and brought me back to reality, tears kept rolling down my face against my will as I walked face down through the bitter streets of Peckham, south London. I breathed in as I felt a lump growing bigger in my throat I mentally scolded myself for getting in to this state in public and reminded myself that things will get better, well they have to right? As I turned in to my street I used the back of my hand and my soft winter scarf to wipe my very wet face and frantically started to search for my keys which had sunken deeper inside my small black Michael Kors Susannah lock clutch bag. I looked up at the front door and took in such a deep breath it felt like I was bringing my own self back to life. "Ready to face my demons" I said to myself as I forcefully shoved the key in to the front door lock.

As soon as I entered the strong smell of cannabis hit me, I walked in not forgetting to slam the front door, kicking my plain black heels off angrily I follow in to the direction where the shrieks of laughter were. My eyes fall on a hench chocolate man who is dancing around naked in the front room in front of my amused mother who is clutching a bottle of red wine whilst throwing her head back in a fit of laughter. I stand there for a couple of minutes before entering applauding them on my way in. The man who's name I don't know jumps back grabbing a pillow to hide his exposed body with a look of shock slapped across his handsome face. "Here comes the fun police" my mother jokes to herself, before downing the bottle of wine. I give the man an evil look, "Get out" I calmly command him while looking him dead in the eyes, he slowly manoeuvres towards my dad's favourite armchair where he had slung his clothes over, I shake my head as I think of the disrespect . "NOW!" I scream, he must think I have all night mate. He grabs all things in sight and exits the house. I look around contemplating whether or not I would like to sit down but I decide against it as I have no idea what activity and where it had taken place in this room, but one thing I know the air smelt  very unpleasant. "So this is the reason you didn't come to my DAD'S funeral, you must be disgusted with yourself you whore" she looked up at me a smirk playing across her lips. "I wanted to have some fun, you know me im a party girl, that's what your daddy loved about me I'm sure he would be proud" She stood up and so did I, It's like I followed her as if she was the lead in a dance. I spat at her and watched as she wiped her face with her dress I first noticed on the floor when I entered in to the room. I was caught off guard as I felt a heavy hand connect with my face, I staggered back and ended up making sure I didn't hit the floor. I looked at her with hate in my eyes "You must of forgotten I'm your mother Jamila" she spat and I returned her statement with "I wish you died instead of Dad, I hate you" I threw the words heavy in to her as I walked out and rushed up the stairs to my room. I angrily sit down on my bed as I take the sharp object from under my pillow while tears filled up in my eyes and I bit down on my bottom lip as I let the sharp object connect with my fresh skin.
***
I woke up with the worst headache, it was I drank an ocean of vodka. I winced as I lifted my arm towards my face as I rubbed my eyes. My eyes felt tight and I felt the dry tears stained on my face. The angry words of yesterday rang in my head.
I wish you died instead of Dad, I hate you.
Was I wrong? For what I said. I remembered the events of last night. I remembered what kind of mother I have.
Flashback
3weeks ago 😭😩
Ding Dong
I wrapped myself in my white bath robe and made my way downstairs. PAUSE⏸. You see my dad was suffering from terminal cancer and ever since he was sent home 4 months ago it really started to take its toll on us me and my mum that is. Most days it would be me looking after my father my uncle Leroy would come  over do the shopping and sit with my dad and cry. However my mum would disappear for days on end and when she would return from her bender it would be the same old crap. She was sorry and she wouldn't leave us again. She had started drinking and she turned in to a different woman, someone who we just didn't recognise.
***
It was a couple of days since I had last seen my mum. My dad was getting worse everyday he couldn't speak much ,and it was breaking my heart. Myself and uncle Leroy was sitting by his side as we knew his time was drawing near.
"Mila call her again?" My dad said so weakly with a faint smile.

"You have reached the EE voicemail...." I ended the call and threw my phone against the wall in frustration. I would never forgive this woman I will never.
2 hours later
I sat there silently holding my dad in my arms so tight I thought he would break. I loosened the grip as more tears fell from my eyes.
"He's gone" I whispered to myself with a blank expression on my face.
Next day
My dad's body had been taken away, and I had just finished cleaning his room. I was taken out of deep thought when I heard the front door slam. She had come back from another bender. As she walked in she looked at me with shame in her eyes.
"He's gone" I said with no emotion. She looked at me in horror and dropped her keys.
PLAY ▶️
As I opened the door, I met a handsome light skinned man with a low trim and an expensive looking suit, in his left hand he carried a briefcase, I noticed my uncle stepping out of his car with his wife, aunty Leilani and grandma Marcia. I looked at the man in confusion as the man stretched out his hand for a handshake.
" Good morning, Jamila my name is Tyler MCclaryn, I am your father's lawyer. I am here to read out his will" I looked at him in utter confusion.  I looked over at my uncle.
" Mila baby, I told your mother he was coming today I really hoped she would pull her act together " he said tutting. I moved aside to let them all in. I thought to myself this man looks quite young to be my dads lawyer but oh well!

***
A couple hours later
Despite the fact that my father's funeral hadn't yet taken place, his wish was that before the funeral his will was to be read out. Before my dad was sick, he was a very successful business man. He had saved for our future.
My uncle and his family inherited his holiday home in Mauritius which is was worth over £400,000, and also £50,000 to be split between my 2 older cousins Hakeem and Jr.
My nan inherited £1 million and a secret house in Jamaica he had been building for her and her sisters she had always wished to go home And also a first class plane ticket dated by Christmas.
My mother received nothing, she had dragged her drunken self out of bed to see what she would receive and for me, I got £15 million, a fancy apartment in Kent and the CEO position of his UK based company, until I turned 18 next year i wouldn't have access to anything. My dad also mentioned the reason why it wasn't known to my mother that he was as wealthy as he made out was because he knew she was cheating on him and he only stayed with her to be there for me. His plan was to move to Jamaica once I turned 18. I was as shocked as everyone else was.
Flashback ended
I sat there it was until a tear drop fell down on to my bare lap I realised I had been crying.  Suddenly my mother barged in my room , her eyes so bloodshot I thought they would explode.
" get out of this house, I don't want you here" I looked at her in confusion. She lunged forward and grabbed my swollen arm
"What the hell are you doing?" I screamed, tears rolling down my face as she pulled me down the stairs.
" I don't want a greedy child who wishes me dead" She spat, and with that she pushed me outside and slammed the door in my face. For a few minutes I stood there with my mouth opened wide.  She opened the window and threw a bag of clothes at me.
" I don't want to ever see you again"she said with venom. And with that I walked away with just my phone and my bag of clothes.

1647 words
A.N*
Updated
Ok guys first chapter , feel free to tell me what you think.

Jamila's pic is the image above

Don't forget to comment (constructive is always welcome) like and vote.

Peace and Love Guys xx