Glitch (The Write Awards 2013 Winner)

Glitch - Chapter 20

“Sunshine, can you pass the water?” Mat’s request jolted Freya out of her thoughts as she absent-mindedly pushed her breakfast of porridge around the bowl. She had no intention of eating. The porridge itself was verging on inedible. Lack of supplies meant no sugar or flavourings and Mat had got the ratio wrong meaning a solid lump of viscous goo had settled repulsively at the bottom. In any case, sitting wordlessly in the middle of the two people she desperately wished to avoid had some-what diminished her appetite.

She still hadn’t spoken to them about the revelation Andie had forced upon her. It wasn’t going to be an easy conversation with either of them. Freya had taken the option of avoiding all in-depth discussions, eye contact and their general company as much as possible. Breakfast was one of the occasions that she simply couldn’t get away from.

Carefully, she lifted the jug and passed it over the table. His fingers briefly entwined around her own in order to get a proper grasp. She internally cursed herself at the possibility she would allow a mere touch to panic herself. For a moment she considered glancing up and staring defiantly back at Mat. She didn’t recognise this girl who purposely backed away from conflict and she didn’t like it. Even the temper tantrums were better than this. But she lost her nerve and quickly resumed the process of attempting to shift the stubborn lump of porridge around the bowl; counting down until the moment she could leave and lock herself in her room.

Bryn and Mat seemed to take an unnaturally long time to finish their food. From the positioning of her head, locked staring downwards at the table, she could only listen for each clink of spoon against bowl. Eventually the clatter came to an end.

“Are you finished?” Bryn asked her. She didn’t raise her head to reply. Her spoon dropped lazily into the bowl with a heavy ringing providing an answer for her.

“Yeah.” The moment the word entered the room she pushed out of the chair and made a hasty exit to the door. It was obvious that Freya was acting out of the ordinary. Quite an achievement considering that Freya’s ordinary was erratic enough as it was. She half expected some sardonic dig as she cut passed Mat. He didn’t. Just politely stepped to the side.

It was Bryn who caught hold of her arm to stop her from leaving.

“Are you alright Frey?” She couldn’t answer him properly. Not with Mat in the room. Without her noticing she glanced in the direction of him. Bryn followed her gaze and she found herself accidentally staring Mat out the room.

“I’ll leave you two to it then.” He said in a low mumble. The door shut behind him with a rattle.

“So what’s wrong?” Bryn’s hand settled on her shoulder and the thumb comfortingly traced a path backwards and forwards. He was a good friend. She hoped they could remain that way. In the same way she hoped for a normal life, that Wren and her father would burst through the door and that she didn’t have to start this conversation. All nice fantasies, but absolutely no grounding in reality. She highly doubted they would remain friends. Not after this.

“I’m really sorry Bryn…” The start to the truth was surprisingly solid. The words came easy as she spoke with the perfect mix of determination to get through the words and genuine apology. But then the trail dried up. There was no delicate way to phrase it. She wanted to linger in the last couple of seconds she could grasp of Bryn’s respect.

“Its Mat, isn’t it?” In one moment Freya both respected and detested him. Even as the undisputed victim in her thoughtless mistake he had spared her the agony of admitting her fault. Bryn managed to maintain perfect manners and genuine kindness. It was an admiral talent. But at the same time it made her guilt soar. She could only nod.

“Say no more.” He pressed one last comforting touch into her shoulder and then left her alone in the room. It made her stomach plummet even further to notice that her prevailing emotion was relief and not guilt.