Because of You

Danny Boy

It was things like this that belied any theory of coincidence. Coincidence was that word inserted when such different roads inexplicably crossed paths. It was that term used to negate the phrase that everything happened for a reason. 

And from my point of view, the word coincidence was comically insufficient. 

I looked between Octavia and Bellamy. "Your brother?"

That storm in his dark eyes didn't blow over. "What's she doing here?" he asked with a flippant wave in my direction. 

The smile on Octavia's lips slowly fell away as she looked between us, clearly sensing the hostile atmosphere. "She's my tour guide."

This did nothing to pacify him. "I could've shown you around myself. You didn't need her."

I folded my arms over my chest. "You don't have to talk like I'm not here."

Bellamy looked from his sister back to me. "Why are you?" he sneered. "Don't you have some prestigious class to be getting to by now?"

I ignored the jab, keeping any remarks to myself for Octavia's sake. "Actually, no. I was going to show your sister around the school."

His next words came out as a snap. "I'll do that."

Octavia peered up at her brother. "Is this your free period, Bell?"

It wasn't, I knew, but I let Bellamy answer. He grimaced and gave a one-shouldered shrug, unconcerned. "I can miss one class."

"Oh yeah, that sets a great example." The words were out of my mouth before I could hold them in and I instantly clamped my lips shut. 

Bellamy's glare actually emanated its own heat, but Octavia interceded before he had a chance to speak. "No, it's fine. Clarke can show me around. She knows a lot about . . . Wyoming."

I smiled at that, but Bellamy didn't partake in my amusement. Instead he glowered at me like he was waiting for me to crack under pressure. But, unbeknownst to him, pressure was a close friend of mine. "I can afford one class, O," he said.

But Octavia didn't agree. "No way. I won't have you ruining your perfect record on my behalf." She pointed towards the hall. "Now go."

She wasn't pointing in the right direction, but it was clear she wasn't backing from her stance and Bellamy eventually complied. Not without another glare at me though. He started my way, heading for the opposite hall. He stopped before passing me. 

His voice turned to a whisper, low enough for only me to hear. "My sister is not another one of your subjects, Princess." 

I clenched my hands but said nothing, allowing him to leave without another word. He wasn't worth the stress response. Only when he was gone did I let myself relax.  

"Wow," Octavia mumbled from beside me as we started walking. "He obviously woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning."

That seemed to be every morning. "Your brother doesn't exactly like me," I mumbled.

She scoffed, kicking at the floor with her heel. "My brother doesn't like anyone."

"What, he doesn't have friends to practice civility on?" I hoped she didn't take offense at that but Octavia just shook her head."Nope. None that I've ever seen him with. He hasn't really had much of a chance to make any." 

I frowned at that, saddened by the thought. It didn't justify his bitterness, but it did at least explain some of it. "Was that because of the moving?" I asked gently.

Octavia looked over at me. "You mean foster care?" She deadpanned. "Yeah. He moved around more than me, though. The system didn't always keep us together."

I actually came to a complete stop at that, and turned fully to her. "They split you up?"

"Yeah. It was only for a year, but it wasn't . . . " her eyes grew unfocused for a second. "It wasn't easy. The family I was with didn't want a teenager and agreed to keep me until freshman year. Then I was sent to my brother's last family who lives here in Cheyenne."

"Why didn't your brother just get custody of you?" Now I knew I was prying, but I couldn't help it. None of it sounded fair. It didn't seem right.

If it annoyed Octavia, she gave no indication of it and we resumed our pace. "A job at Taco Bell wasn't exactly enough to support the both of us. He failed his GED so he decided to go back to school. He wanted to try for a scholarship to UW."

"And?"

Octavia smiled at me. "And he hasn't missed one school day since."

 I was actually struck speechless by this. I felt my cheeks color. But just remember that when I have my scholarship handed to me, you'll be here, living it up at a party thrown by teenagers.  

It was no longer such a mystery to me why I wasn't exactly one of Bellamy's favorite people. It was true that that had been an unfortunate choice of words at the time, but I hadn't known how close to home it would hit, nor did it excuse his behavior up to that point. 

"What about you?" Octavia asked as we came to the mouth of the library. "What's your mess?"

It was as if the question alone was enough to reach into my mind and drag the memory to the surface. Not that that was very difficult to do-those images were never too far from me. 

"Okay, okay, Dad. Shh. This is our song," I said, reaching over to turn up the volume. The lyrics to Danny Boy flooded the car and I started belting out the words, dropping my voice low until my vocal chords scraped against each other. 

Dad grinned over at me and turned it up even more, until every word blared in my ears. It pounded in unison with the rain pelting the windshield.  

"The summer's gone and all the flowers are dying," Dad sang, pointing over at me. 

"It's you, it's you must go and I must bide," I finished. It was hard to sing through the grin on my face but I managed and we tossed the lines back and forth, cuing each other. 

"And then my grave will richer, sweeter be!" Dad shouted, much louder than Johnny. 

I laughed and tossed back my head. "And you'll bend down and tell me that you love me."

It was between that lyric and the next that a new sound cut through to me. Maybe I could've heard it over the rain. But I couldn't hear it over the music, and it wasn't until the truck's headlights were flashing in my father's window that I knew what would happen next.

The last lyric came over the stereo just before the truck collided with us. 

And I will rest in peace until you come to me. 

I shoved away the memory, my vision blurring. I looked away from Octavia and took a deep breath. "Nothing worth much mention," I told her. It wasn't a lie; I actually wished I had clutter; the pain in my life was too tidy and too neat. 

There was no mess, just one person's very prominent absence.