The Dream Girl

Chapter 2 - The heart wall

Megan and I were starting to be closer, even though I clearly remember I said her and I never would be friends. Another thing I said I never would, was to hang on the wall, and I stick to that even though I am starting to really like Nate. We could you know, flirt, without being on the wall, right? As the time went by, I started to forget my old school and friends more and more, I didn't even miss being home anymore. This place were getting better and better, and it didn't feel like a prison anymore.

Nate and I were officially on the heart wall 3 months into the year, even though I said I wouldn't. Nate moved both of our hearts to the flirt side, just to see what people would say. I found it pretty cute how he moved them while I was there, without asking me if it was okay with it. Of course it's okay, I kind of wanted it to happen. We weren't like, showing our "relationship" to the rest of the school. It was only when he came to my room, or I came to his, we would cuddle and talk for hours! And everything seemed to be going fine, until we came to the point where I later started to feel as if this wasn't right. It didn't seem like he wanted to be my boyfriend at all, and I started to feel tired of not being "public". However, I didn't have the guts to tell him I didn't want this anymore.

The whole school were going on a trip, and I hoped this could be our chance to be public. But that wasn't how it turned out. He ignored me the whole day, and didn't pay me any attention, what so ever. So I started to talk to this guy, Andrew. He's such a nice guy, really easy to talk to. So I was walking around talking to him, when he suddenly put his arm around me. I didn't think about it, and only saw it as a friendly thing. Since Nate didn't bother talking to me, I didn't see why this was wrong. The day went by, and we were all walking down to the bus to get home. Just as the rest of the day, I was talking to Andrew, not Nate. Nates roommates were talking about me on the seats behind me. So I looked at them, "What's wrong?"

"Are you going to dump Nate?"

If anyone was gonna dump anyone, it would be him dumping me, "No?"

"Why are you with Andrew then? He saw Andrew holding around you."

"And so what?"

"How can you do that to my roomie?"

"He didn't talk to me all day!"

"So you got with someone else? Do you know how sad he is over it?"

I didn't bother talking about it anymore. I didn't even bother looking at them. But on the inside, I was pretty sad, 'cause it wasn't my intention to make him sad. I didn't know he would see it as cheating. If I did know that, I would have stopped Andrew, for sure. I couldn't see Nate, I didn't even know where he was. Inside, I was crying. How could his roommates just talk to me like that? I didn't know... I didn't mean to make him upset.

When we arrived at the school, I walked straight to my room. I sat in my bed, as the tears slowly started to show. I've never cried over a guy before, and I did not think the first time would be over Nate. Megan came into the room, and saw me crying. "You okay Maya?"

"I don't know" I said mumbling.

"He's here. Nate."

"Where?"

"His room I think."

"Thanks" I smiled. I was preparing myself to talk to him, even tough I had no idea what to say to him. If I just told him the truth, he'd understand, right? His room were right in front of mine, but the walk over there, felt like forever.

"Nate?" He sat on his bed all quiet and alone.

"Mhm?.." He didn't look at me.

"Can we talk real quick?"

"Sure" He moved a bit to the side so I could sit down next to him.

"I'm sorry" The tears started to run down my face.

Nothing.

"I didn't mean to upset you, Nate."

"Don't hope so."

"Sorry. I'm crying."

He looked at me, "don't."

"I just really like you. I've never cried over a boy, so you mean a lot to me."

He hugged me, "I guess I overreacted a bit."

"No..."

He smiled and hugged me, "don't cry."

And that was it, he didn't talk to me the rest of the day. I don't know if it was a good idea to just continue this flirt. My heart really want to end it, 'cause I don't feel like there's anything there anymore, but my brain just can't do it. I don't want to break his heart again, and I don't want us to ignore each other. I should've just kept my promise, and stayed of that damn wall.

That night, I were laying in my bed on my phone, trying to write a message to him, telling him I can't do this anymore. I know how much of an idiot I am to "break up" over phone, but I just can't tell him face to face. It ended with a looooong message just explaining how stupid I was, and that he shouldn't think it was his fault. I didn't get a reply, but I got a 'seen'. It was really over now, and I just couldn't believe it. He was going to tell his roomies, and then they would tell the whole school, and I would be frozen out. Great job Maya, great job.

He didn't talk to me the next day, or the next one, or the next one... He didn't speak to me for months. I could just feel how I was being judged by his friends by the way they looked at me when I walked by. It's been a moth you guys, leave it... One good thing came out of this, I've gotten closer to my roomies, and Andrew and I were still talking. Who needs boys anyways? Single Maya, here I come.