june 27th | camren

five

On Lauren's twenty-fourth birthday it's raining, and Camila is soaked from walking all the way over here from Ally's house. She takes Lauren's birthday present and puts in place between the potted plant and the wooden bench, a hint of a sad smile on her lips.

She stands on the front porch for a few seconds, and just when she's about to turn around and leave this place behind forever, Lauren's voice stops her.

"Camila."

Camila's head snaps up, and she instinctively takes a step backwards. Lauren is standing in the doorway with a mixture of confusion and sadness on her face, her eyes flickering over Camila before coming to a stop at her face.

"It's really you," she says, barely above a whisper, voice hoarse and thick with emotion.

Camila swallows. Her chest feels tight like her heart is beating against her ribs, and the corners of her lips twitch into an unsure smile. "Hey, Lauren."

"Oh my god," Lauren mumbles, face growing pale like she's seen a ghost. It's not far from the truth, actually. "How are you—what the—" Her voice trails off, and she searches Camila's face for something. "Are you real?"

"Yes," Camila breathes, slowly regaining control over her body again. She straightens her shoulders and gives Lauren a nod. "You're not going crazy."

Lauren blinks once, twice. Then her eyes fill with tears, and she leaps forward. Her body is warm against Camila's, melting into her like she's not five years older than the last time they held each other, and Camila can't help but bury her face in Lauren's neck.

"I'm sorry," she whispers into Lauren's hair. "I never meant to hurt you."

Lauren warm breath bounces off of Camila's shoulder as she holds her tight enough for any human to break. She softly repeats the same three words over and over again, "Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god," and she never once lets go.

Camila lets it happen, allows Lauren to feel. She holds her in her arms, supports her weight while Lauren cries, mumbles soft apologies into Lauren's ear. "You're okay," she whispers. "You're okay."

Lauren cries for a full fifteen minutes, and Camila instantly lets go when she starts to pull back. She watches Lauren carefully, making sure to keep her distance to give Lauren time and space to process what is happening. None of this was the way Camila expected her night would go, and she can't possibly fathom what it must be like for Lauren, who'd thought Camila had been dead for over five years.

Now that the initial shock is over, something changes in Lauren's eyes when she looks at Camila again. Her face is red and puffy, but there's a flicker of something Camila can't quite put her finger on hiding behind her teary-eyed complexion, and Camila doesn't know what to do.

She wants to reach out and hold Lauren again, but it's not her place—it hasn't been for the past five years. "You can ask," she says. She doesn't want to keep secrets from Lauren now, offering information as some sort of final birthday present.

Lauren bites down on her lip, running her hand through her hair. "Okay. Can we sit?" She gestures at the bench, and Camila nods. They sit down, Lauren on one end and Camila on the other, trying to look as open and approachable as possible.

Lauren takes a deep breath. "How are you—like, not to be rude or anything, but I saw you. You were dead. I buried you."

"I faked it," Camila says, softly. "Remember the car crash?" Lauren gives her a look, and Camila nods. "Right, of course. Uh—someone watched it happen. She tore open the car after that other car crashed into us and pulled us out. That's why they found us on the street instead of inside the car. I guess she followed the ambulance to the hospital to see how we were doing, but then I—"