No, I'm Not (JackSepticEye fanfic)

Chapter 5- Civil War of Dallas

Chapter 5- Civil War of Dallas

Trigger Warning! Please Be Careful Reading, This Gets Sad.

--Dallas POV--

I was at war with myself. Yesterday seemed like a dream, but I know it actually happened. So that wasn't my problem. My problem was that I couldn't tell why Sean did it. Why he picked me, of all people, to get to know. Part of me wants to belive that, mabye, Sean was telling the truth about me being special. But the other part, the bigger part, believes the opposite. That he was just lonely, or felt bad for my pathetic self and decided to do some community service. I stayed up very late last night just thinking about this, then I woke up around noon. Luckily, I had the day off. Now, it was about 3 and I spent the morning watching all my subscriptions on YouTube. Except for Sean's. I wanted to wait, try and get him off my mind. But I can't, and I don't want to not watch it. So, I set my thoughts and feelings aside and started his reading comments video.

"Top of the mornin' to you laddies! And today I decided to make a reading comments video because I haven't for a while. Let's get started!"

The video was as normal as any other, untill this question came up.

"Sean, what happened to your girlfriend and have you met anyone else?" The question read.

   The question was reasonable, but his answer is what surprised me the most. "Well, as some of you probably know, me and my girlfriend broke up. We ended on good terms, so everything is fine. But for the other question, I have met someone. We aren't dating, but we are friends. Although, I hope to change that." Then he moved on to the next question, but I was in to much shock to listen.

    Was he talking about me? 'No, you mean nothing to him. He probably met someone else better' my inner voice taunts me. I sigh, that was probably was right. I mean, I'm nothing. There are there way prettier and skinnier girls in the world that would be happy to date Sean. He deserves better than a trashy, fat, depressed, pathetic lowlife like me. I get that horrible sinking feeling in my chest as my mind wanders to a very dark place. That's it. I need to. I've been clean for months, but I can't. I need to cut.

   I got up and walked to my bed. I reached under my mattress and grabbed my old friend from the rip in the seam. Son where in my mind I noticed it was rusty, but my emotions were too controlling. I brought the blade up and dragged it across my wrist. I watched as the blood flowed out of the self-inflicted wound. The blood dripped onto the floor, but I felt nothing. Suddenly, I saw a clear liquid hit the ground, mixing with the blood. I feel my face and realize that I'm crying. I lower the blade again and make another red line. Then I lose all control, cutting up and down my arm.

    Then, I start to feel the pain. The physical pain adds to the emotional pain and I collapse onto my knees. All the pain I was previously numb to crash down on me like a tsunami. All the loneliness and sadness I constantly suppress comes rushing to the surface. The walls of my apartment, suddenly seeming confining and small, make me stand up and run out the door. I have no shoes on, blood running down my arms and tears streaming down my face. 'You're a mess. Stupid girl. People are staring. You're being a nuisance.' the voices yell at me. I continue to run, not really knowing where I'm going. My legs tired and my lungs burning, I fall to the ground. I look up and notice that I was at the medow that Sean took me to. A sob works it way up my throat and I curl into a ball. My head starts spinning and my sight blurs. I don't know what is happening, but I just hope death takes me away. Just before I lose consciousness, I hear my name being called and a figure running towards me.

"Dallas!" The voice calls before it all goes black.

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

Hello! Okay, let me get something out of the way. 60 READS? OMG! A girl goes to Florida for 4 days and she gets 30 more reads? Thank you sosososo much! The only thing that could make this better is if you guys would comment? All the comments are just from my weird best friend, and I really want to know who reads my crappy writing!

Okay, now since that is out of the way, this was a sad chapter! I will try to make it slightly more upbeat but I just thought this would be good for the story. Anyway, who do you think that person is? Oh, who am I kidding, it's obvious. Buuuut, this is a perfect way to prove you are smart! (Me trying to get someone to comment).

This is a little thing that my weird best friend wrote on my computer when I was in the bathroom:

secret chapter 0o0

"is that an ant"

"no thts mah genitals ;.;"

"lettin ma down sean"

"fine ill leave bc u hurt mei"

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otters note

i guess dallas wont lose her virginity tonight ^o^

Wow, really Hailey? Anyway, this is a long authors note! Give me feedback and have a nice day/night!

Vote, Comment, and Come back Again!

Bye,

     Miaxx