Charlotte is a first year at the prestigious Royal Academy of Dramatic Arts in London. Little does she know that inside these old walls not only her love for acting will grow.
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I lose track of time. Lose myself in the kiss. Experiencing his touch, exploring our intimacy. Sitting on his lap, his arms are wrapped around me, our lips moving in a trance-like state.
Much too soon he withdraws his lips. He looks in my eyes, his thumb brushing over my cheek. "It's getting cold out here. Do you want to go downstairs and warm up?" he says with a soft tone.
I nod. Smiling. I don't know where this will lead to. Will I get to ask the questions I need answers to? Will we have sex? Both?
He holds my hand all the way down to the forth floor. I step inside his apartment and instantly I am fascinated. The whole place a symbol of his personality.
A high, modern living room with a classy and homely feel. Dark wooden flooring, a few antiques, leather sofa, framed movie posters and a huge bookshelf on the far wall. Down to earth, elegant and organized. Just like him, I think to myself.
"The bathroom is down the hall on the right if you need it" he points behind me. "Would you like a cup of tea?"
"Yes, that would be great" I say, putting my things on a chair.
While he is in the kitchen preparing the tea, I walk around the living room. Drawn to the book shelf. Mesmerized by his vast collection of all-time greats, I brush my fingertips over the covers. Being here, seeing all these books that are so dear to his heart, that shaped him, made him laugh and cry. I feel like looking into his soul.
Lost in my thoughts I jump when I notice his presence behind me. "Sorry" I whisper "This is mesmerizing" I point at his books.
"Please don't apologize" he smiles at me, handing me the cup. "Don't ever apologize. I am the one that owes you an apology".
My eyes sink to the floor. And so it begins. The conversation I dreaded for months. I cling on to the cup, welcoming the warmth on my cold hands.
He sits down on the sofa, holding out his hand for me. "Come here"
I place the cup on the table and sit down beside him. He takes my hand, playing with my fingers. He looks nervous. Lost for words.
"To say that I had a hard time is an understatement" I break the silence. Tears building up in my eyes. Trying to distract myself, I look around the room. "I was devastated. Not only because of the way I felt for you, but most of all I was angry at myself for trusting you" I look back at his face, sadness in his eyes.
"We all have made decisions we regret and I really want to leave this behind us. I want to give you the chance, you are asking for. But for me, for us, to go forward I need to know the why. Why you made that choice?" I am surprised how calm I manage to express my thoughts. Giving myself a mental tap on the shoulder.
