Chapter 14

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Connie had taken the tests first thing in the morning, as her hCG levels would be much higher and so there was no chance of the tests coming back with a false result, unless the tests themselves were faulty. This was it - the moment of truth. She reached forward with a shaky hand, and picked up one of the tests. The first one she looked at was negative, and she was surprised, yet a little relieved. She didn't have to call Jacob and have to talk to him for the first time in months. She didn't have to bring up all those memories for her daughter again. She didn't have to hurt everyone all over again. Yes, she was relieved, but she felt awful for it, as she knew that she would love to have a child with Jacob, if only she hadn't been burdened by her illness.

However, three weeks later, she still found herself stood at the front of the hectic ED in Holby, watching the staff and the patients whizzing past her, as if completely oblivious to her presence. It had been just less than four and a half months since she last stepped in this ED, and she hadn't had any contact with anyone in that time. She spotted Jacob by reception, and it was Jack that saw Connie. He must have whispered something to Jacob, as she saw Jack point straight at her, and so Jacob turned to face Connie, who was still transfixed to the spot.

"What the hell," she saw Jacob mutter to himself, and he made eye contact with Connie, then started walking towards her. She couldn't move, and suddenly wished she was on a plane back to LA because the look in his face didn't give anything away - was he mad, or was he happy? She couldn't tell. His walk up to her soon turned in to a jog and he didn't stop for anyone - he kept his eyes on Connie and began to run towards her. Not knowing how he was going to react, Connie began to feel a little nervous as he approached her, especially when he slowed down to stop just a few feet from her. He stared at her for a few minutes, as if he was trying to figure out if she was really there, or if she was just a pigment of his imagination.

"Hello," she whispered, after looking at him for a little while, awaiting his next move.

"Hello?" He asked, eventually. "Hello? You left me, and you left Grace, with no contact bar one stupid letter at the beginning, and all you can say is hello?" She figured that she was wrong to hope he was going to be happy - he looked everything except happy now. He looked angry, and hurt, and he seemed ashamed of her. It broke her to see him this way - to see what she'd done to him.

"Jacob, I know what I did was wrong, but-"

"No. No, Connie, you don't know. Because you'd do it again in a heartbeat. What the hell are you doing here? Don't you think we've moved on with our lives?"

"We?" Connie asked, feeling a little upset. She didn't expect that Jacob would have moved on to another woman already, though of course she couldn't blame him. She wasn't with him any longer, so who was she to stop him?

"Yeah, me and your daughter. Or did you think that I'd give up on her like you did?" He saw how hurt she was, and so he stepped forward as he apologised. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean that."

"No, no, you're right," she said, stepping back. She turned away and began to walk out of the ED. "I should never have come, I'm sorry. Don't tell Grace I've been - she'll just be more upset." As she walked away, with tears beginning to form in her eyes, she felt Jacob's strong hand clasp around her wrist.

"Oh no you don't," he whispered, his voice breaking a little under the strain. "You came here for a reason, and if you think I'm going to let you walk out of here without telling me what that reason is then you obviously don't know me that well at all. Your office, now."

"My office?" She asked, as he dragged her through the ED. This felt weird - Jacob was so hurt that he was the one bossing her around, and she was the one following him. She'd never been under his power before and seeing how angry he was made her feel all the more guilty.

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