I looked up to see that it was already February 19; barely a week left for the said event of my organization. Yes, I am a college student and I belong to an art organization. And due to some reasons, I've been neglecting the group for a while now.
'It's been exactly 3 days 12 hours and 13 minutes... I wonder what has been happening...' I thought to myself.
And then it occurred to me that today is when my close friend will do her surprise for her boyfriend. I smiled unknowingly and got up from my bed.
'Sweet little girl... How I wish to witness it...'
As I finished preparing for school, I checked my phone to see messages from some of my friends.
Fr: Wendy
Hey, how have you been? I miss you.
-end-
Having no load, I closed the message and opened the other putting a mental note to reply to her later.
Fr: Kelly
Tan tan~ :)
-end-
I smiled. I'm happy to see that someone actually cares. Who wouldn't when you actually did the thing on your palms? I once again closed the message box and put my phone inside my pocket.
Another day to stand still...
Another day to compose myself...
And now I've decided...
To leave everything behind...
I attended my first class and everything went well. Since It was still so early, and I have a four-hour vacant waiting, I decided to run my father's errands and go home after.
Then, when I was at the supermarket, I saw a familiar can of Pocari. Picking it up, my mind went into a nostalgic train ride.
"Uwah! Where did you get that?" she asked, pouting a little too cute for my liking. I mustered all my strength not to pinch her puffy cheeks and ruffle her hair due to the fact that she is older than me.
"Hm, somewhere near my place, specifically at a supermarket."
I saw her face fell for a second and sighed.
"If I got time, I can buy you one?" it wasn't intended to be a question but more like an unsure offer. Her eyes glittered and turned to me.
"Really? Yay!"
After such, I picked up 2 cans of Pocari and went to the cashier to pay for it.
After doing so, I went home. When I arrived, I laid back on my bed and drowned myself with Yiruma's compositions.
It was so short that I didn't notice the time, so I hurriedly ate my lunch and left for a long day ahead.
I often close my eyes...
And I can see your smile...
Those were the only lines I remembered from the song "Kiss the Rain" which was originally a piano composition. Then I remembered those times I spent with the people inside my circle; the tears I shed, the laughter we shared... Ah how I'm going to miss those.
I arrived at my school only to find out that I don't have classes on both subjects so now, I'm all alone inside the cafeteria, writing.
But then, my mind has been lost for words so I closed my notebook.
I stared at a distance for a moment and started texting random people, hoping someone would actually hear me but to no avail, no one has responded yet.
And I remembered about the Pocari that I wrapped nicely in a hanky and took it out.
Should I call her?
It took me my everything to dial her number so here I am, stuck with what to say.
*ring ring ring...*
'Gosh. Sure she is taking her sweet time--'
"hm?"
Woah, I... Didn't expect it to be that... Cold. I was lost of what to say so I decided to...
Break everything.
"I'm quitting."
"Why?"
Okay, this way too cold for my liking and she sounded so... superior and commanding.
"It's been stressing me out."
'And if my personal feelings are gonna get in the way why not quit?' I said to myself. Then I heard her turn to the people around her, silencing them up.
"Come again?"
"It's been stressing me out. I still have a lot of paper works to finish."
"Did you tell the president about it? Because we don't have the authority to do it and besides, it's your decision, we won't force you."
My mouth fell agape. I didn't expect such coldness from her tone and actually, it was scary that I can feel the coldness rise to my fingertips. And I thought they were worried about my well being... I breathed deeply and said something I would regret later in this lifetime.
"I already told the moderator about it and she actually doesn't want me to quit but she respects my decision. She also said I needed some space and I'll tell the president when I see her."
Then silence filled the air. I guess she is out of words too so I ended the call.
I never thought that it would be that cold. I just held the now warm can of Pocari wrapped nicely in a cloth.
And once again it snowed... In the middle of summer inside my now broken heart.
They didn't know how hard was it for me to come up to such decision.
And they are stressing out about it.
I heard they came looking for me but they gave up way too soon.
I guess the winter never really stopped inside my heart. And I guess I'm way too young for a group filled with mature people.
I sighed and took out my phone and started typing my feelings...
Martyrdom at full throttle... I wonder how long I'm gonna hold up... I didn't expect it to a burning pain... A burning pain from touching a person...
As cold as ice.
