Where is your boy tonight? - peterick fic

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{Pete pov}

"Okay, I'm gonna go talk to him"

Was that patrick that just said that?
Why? Why would patrick say that after he told me to leave earlier?

Pete was so confused. He had tried sleeping, but who was he kidding, it's 8pm. It's going to be hours before he even gets sleepy.
While he was in his bunk, all he could think about was Patrick. Not necessarily what had happened between them that day, sometimes he just daydreamed about anything to do with his best friend. His hair. His vast selection of hats. His eyes. His laugh. His smile. Oh god, what he wouldn't give to see Patrick's smile right now.
But patrick didn't want to see him. He told pete to go away. To leave. Pete kept replaying what happened over and over again in his head, and he felt his heart break just a little bit more each time. He wanted the pain to stop. He wasn't even entirely sure what he did. And it was tearing him apart not knowing and not being able to apologise or fix it.

Suddenly, pete started to hear footsteps. And not the light footsteps you can only just hear from the living room area of the bus, but incoming footsteps. They were getting louder. They were coming this way.

It must be patrick coming to check on him like he said he was going to. Pete didn't actually think he was going to. But then he remembered that Patrick's bunk is right below his. He's probably just going to go to sleep. Although, it's still early, even for patrick. But pete couldn't think of a valid reason as to why patrick would want to talk to him, so he just turned over and pretended to be asleep. He decided nothing good would come out of a conversation between the two of them right now.
Not with all these bad thoughts running through Pete's head.

{Patrick pov}

I don't know if I should disturb pete or not. He probably doesn't even want to talk to me. He's probably already asleep.

These were just some of the several excuses patrick tried telling himself so he could just run away and hide, because he was never good at confrontation.
But his legs were still carrying him to the far end of the bus, and before he knew it, he was stood in front of Pete's bunk. His bunk was just below Pete's, and it would be so easy to just crawl in and forget all about it. But he couldn't do that. He couldn't do that to pete. He had to make sure his best friend was okay. Despite any feelings wishing pete was more than that.
The ball of anxiety in Patrick's stomach was growing quickly. But mainly because if he was quiet enough and he listened closely enough, he could hear Pete's gentle breathing on the other side of the curtain. But patrick had to say something. He knew he did. He just didn't know what.

"Pete" he whispered.

No response.

"Pete?"

Still nothing. Maybe he really was asleep? Patrick decided one more try.
"Pete? You okay?"
Patrick listened really closely this time.
But Pete hadn't said a word.
Patrick was slightly relieved, but also really disappointed. He wanted to talk to Pete. He wanted to make sure he was okay. He couldn't bare the thought of pete being upset because of him an his stupid feelings getting in the way of their friendship.
But if pete didn't want to talk, he wasn't going to force him. And he definitely wasn't going to wake him up to talk to him, that's just unfair to pete.

So patrick quickly takes off his shirt and skinny jeans and climb into my small bunk, just in his boxers. He got comfy, but he couldn't sleep. Pete was simultaneously running through patrick's mind and also lying just a meter or two above him, in his own bunk.

Patrick pov -

A few hours pass, and I'm still wide awake and I'm still thinking about Pete. I realise now what an idiot I've been. I was horrible to pete because I had feelings for him. That is so dumb! It isn't Pete's fault at all, yet I had made him feel like it was, which isn't fair at all. I'm a horrible person. No wonder pete doesn't want to talk to me! I don't blame him for ignoring me. I would have too. Pete is probably so angry with me. He probably hates me now.
I start to feel my eyes stinging and my breath becoming short. I can feel the tears now on my cheeks. I place my hands over my mouth and bite my lip, desperate to not be heard crying. I'm so pathetic. Why can't I just be a man? Why can't I be strong? I'm such a baby. No wonder pete hates me.

I now can't stop the tears from falling down my face and onto my pillow.
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A/n sorry Ik this is a bad place to end but this chapter is already way too long sooo I'll update again soon tho :))