Soldier

Part 4

I've been to District 1 many times. Now, when I arrive, I get a warm sensation throughout me. This is where I'm meant to live. It's much colder up here, but Capitol people enjoy visiting for winter activities. Victors' Village lies nestled within a gorgeous mountain range (the same range the Capitol was built on). Being from the luxury hub of Panem, District 1's victors aren't given houses. They're given mansions.  I hear their holiday parties are so big, even President Snow becomes a little envious.  He never receives invitations, of course.

I stumble alone towards Ruby's door, and with one knock, I set off a new chapter in my life.

Here it goes.

An elderly woman answers. I know Ruby isn't older than fifty, so this can't be her. This is her mother, Amber. My grandmother. Inexplicably, she's taller than me by a foot.  She's let her short hair turn silver, and she makes it look beautiful.

"Hello, Cressida," Amber says, reaching for my hand. "Ruby said you'd be coming today. It's a shame I never got to watch you grow up, but goodness, you're such a pretty young woman."

"Aw. Thanks, Amber."

"You have permission to call me Grandma, you know. Come inside, dear."

I follow, heart pounding. No turning back now. The marble floors echo as I walk inside, and I take in the beautiful architecture. Plush furniture is everywhere, topped off with chandeliers. Ruby, like Beetee, has a display case for her victory portrait and crown. But the place is depressingly empty.

"Ruby!" Amber calls out. "Cressida's here."

She approaches us slowly, wearing a violet peasant blouse and calf-length boots. Her blonde hair is plaited down her back.  My mother.

"There you are," Ruby says.

"Hey." I feel my throat closing up.  Then I get this child-like instinct. The instinct to fling my arms around her. She doesn't stop me, either. People take it for granted, hugging their parents whenever they want.

Finally, it's my turn.

Ruby steps back to look at me properly. "Wow. Doesn't she remind you of someone, Mom?"

"I almost wonder if I've gone back in time," Amber jokes. Posing side by side with Ruby, it's like I'm seeing two versions of my future self.

Oh yeah, we're definitely related.

"You two live here by
yourselves?" I ask.

Amber shakes her head. "Oh, no. This place is way too big for just us."

"My brother and sister's families live here, too," Ruby explains. "They both were married, but my in-laws are dead now."

"I'm sorry to hear that."

She frowns, as though I've upset her. "Enough with your politeness, honey! Just say it already."

"Why did you give me up?" The words fly out. I held myself together on the phone- only because I needed to ask her in person.

My mom sighs and wrings her hands anxiously. "I was naïve. When you survive The Hunger Games, you're not completely whole anymore. Many of us lose our sanity. We quit participating in life. Though Jasper didn't understand what I'd been through, he loved me deeply and I loved him.

"But once I learned I was pregnant... something broke inside of me. What if this baby would get reaped someday, like I did?  What if... what if I started hallucinating and accidentally harmed my child? Jasper's job kept him away from home a lot, so he wouldn't have been able to intervene. We debated; and we decided you were better off with another family.  We did it to protect you."

"So you thought a closed adoption would protect me?"

"I'm not proud of it. Even if I felt well enough to raise you, I wasn't sure how you'd react when you learned what I did in order to win."

"Listen... I've had twenty-three years to fume about this. Believe me, I did. At first." I don't mention that I used to break things, every Mother's Day, like clockwork. "Guess what I realized? Anger's just a waste of energy. It doesn't help anybody. You already suffered enough in the arena, and we're together now, aren't we? I saw your Hunger Games, Ruby. You've got nothing to be ashamed of."

Ruby gives me a bittersweet smile. She probably doesn't believe me, but I had to let her know. Life is way too short for regrets. 

I stare down at my boots. "So... what do you want to do?"

"I thought we could stroll around District One," she says. "I'll show you my favorite places. Later, you can meet your Uncle Smoky and Aunt Opal."

"Sounds great," I reply.

I sleep in a guest room that night. The next thing I know I find myself moving into the mansion permanently.

Another blink, and half a year has gone by. It wasn't an easy choice, leaving my adopted family. I miss Raphael, Selene, and Delphy every day. But they visit sometimes. After so much time wasted, I couldn't pass up the chance to be with the people who biologically paved the way for me. They're amazing! Plus, I have a great new job, filming advertisements.

I hope nothing breaks this illusion.

It's a cold night in March when a Capitol broadcast interrupts our TV. Predictably, they show- what else? - Katniss Everdeen, modeling various wedding gowns. Harmless fun. Then, it changes scenery, to the Remake Center. President Snow approaches his podium.

"Of course," Ruby mumbles. "I think he's about to make the Quarter Quell announcement."

She's proven right when he refreshes our memories of the last two Quarter Quells. Tonight, we'll discover what the 75th Hunger Games have in store.

"As a reminder to the rebels that not even the strongest can overcome the power of the Capitol, the male and female tributes will be reaped from the existing pool of victors."