Petal by Petal

Petal by Petal.

I'm different. 

I don't know what is your definition of 'different', but I'll tell you mine: it's being myself. 

I'm not a girl who wears short skirts, or is a cheerleading captain, or have a group of best friends. I'm not. In fact, I'm far from being one. You see, I'm a coffee girl who has four book shelves filled with hundreds and hundreds of books, who, at night, roams around the internet; looking through the quotes I can relate to.

I've lost my best friend from suicide. But the thing is, people don't actually die from suicide, they die from sadness. It drowns them so much that they can't breathe. It's their thoughts at two a.m. that counts, it's the late night sobbing that matters. They're alone, they feel alone, like they're the only person in the world who's, you know, who think that it won't matter if they died. 

What I know is that everything effects everything. Every decision you make, every steps you take, every words you said, it changes people for better or for worse. It depends on how people take it. 

Here's a friendly reminder: think before you speak. 

Words hurt, way more than you know.

And that is why, here I sit, in my bedroom, at two a.m., sobbing, making up excuses as to what is the point of staying strong when I can't feel anything anymore.