Moon Bound

(42) A Mother's Cry |Scarlet's POV|

Eyes haunting, their faces mirrors of hatred and blame, they knew this was our fault, ours and their Alpha's for taking us in. They didn't need their Alpha to clue them in as they didn't need a proof.

It was in the whispers. It was in the breeze of thought in the corners of their minds. It was in the loss of life that meant more of all ours combined. It was where they found the reason to blame us.

And they had every right.

Perhaps, they'd been lost in their own dreams too. Perhaps, for just a short while they'd allowed themselves to forget—accept. They no longer could.

Now they remembered.

With the novelty of us worn off, they were back into their hushed judgment, the same one that was no doubt to be voiced out very soon. Tonight?

Silent in their wake, they bid their farewells to the dead all the while condemning us with their eyes.

There was only one thing for them left to do after the funeral—get rid of what stood in their way to survival.

Just as quietly, like an angel of Death come to take away the tortured soul once it was over, Alpha stood by the side of the coffin in his perfect black suit and perfectly emotional face.

Whatever feelings lurked under the tough exterior they were hidden under the veil of his green eyes.

Unreadable.

The bond was quiet. Blocked by him. A hollow was misplacing the warmth. Have been for a while.

Was it anger or was it something else he hid inside of him?

I didn't have the slightest idea what feelings he was harboring inside or what thoughts crossed his mind as he looked at the pack. I wasn't sure I wanted to know.

A few pews ahead of where we sat, the boy's mother sobbed her bloody tears. A sound that in all its heartbreaking glory did nothing but further aggravate the burden inside my chest.

Heart-wrenching guilt coursing through my veins had me shaking in my spot. It trickled down my back in small, cold droplets. This pack didn't deserve my guilt. For two years they did nothing but hurt me. Yet, despite every memory and every nightmare they painted for me to remember, I couldn't help but feel a grain of compassion for them.

The mother stood up from her seat. She was the last to approach the cold shell of the child. She walked towards the coffin slowly, then hunched over the merciless wood that was soon going to slide shut over the face she loved. The sound of her sobs reached my eardrums once again, this time, accompanied by quiet whispers that left her lips in a litany which she raised to the skies.

Is that prayer meant for her Moon or is it meant for us?

Closing my eyes, pressing my hands against my ears, thinking about all the things these people did to me, trying to remember my hate for every cruel, dreadful act and word they showered me with....

Her sobs felt like arrows struck inside my heart. I couldn't deafen her pleas for him to come back.

'Come back.... come back.... come back....' like a relentless echo inside my mind, it wouldn't stop.

Cupping my face in my palms, I pretended that I couldn't feel it, that there wasn't liquid saturating my skin, that the tears were not there, that the fault wasn't mine.

I was sinking deeper into insanity. I was going to lose it if it didn't stop. Shame and guilt and so many other feelings were surfacing like the tides bringing lost memories to the shore. My sea was filled with these feelings. It was spitting them all on the sand.

Drying my tears with my sleeve, I rose from my seat and pushed my way through the emotions and out of the city chapel.

The pack's odd, angry stares followed me on my way outside. Perhaps, they wanted me to stay and suffer as much as they did, but I couldn't stay. I couldn't join in their private pain because I was the reason.

I swallowed my tears, closed the door behind me and leaned against the wall of the chapel.

I stayed out for a long time and watched the night falling across the land I'd once called my home, only the street' lights and the one She was shedding illuminating the calm as no wolf but patrols walked outside instead of being at the parting ceremony.

The ones who kept us safe frequented no pack's gatherings. They were free to roam and kill the perpetrators, or even the ones who tried to escape. Free to forget their own lives as they lived for others.

I wished I could do that and live without the feelings poisoning everything in me. Instead, I had to wait for the ceremony to be finished and then people to gather for the pack meeting.

Too soon, people started exiting the chapel. The ceremony had ended and all that was left to do now was bury the boy but not tonight. Tonight, the mother was going to stay next to her lost child and wake over him.

A few minutes later, my almost friends found me amongst the crowd. It was Micah who ventured to pull me to her side, not really into a hug but close enough for me to feel her warmth. As if knowing I needed reassurance, she let me have hers without asking why as we followed the pack's procession toward the packhouse.

It was a long walk, a walk of sorrow and grief. The minutes dragged as slowly as we dragged our feet. In silence.

I hadn't been present to a meeting since Alpha took over the pack but I knew where those were usually held. He was using the same chamber my step dad had. It was the most spacious place inside this packhouse, a dancing room back when my mother was still alive, it was turned into a pack meeting commodity soon after she was gone.

Our group sat at the back, the pack taking the rest of available places as Regan climbed upon the stage in front of the roomful of wolves. A few minutes later, the crowd stilled, expectant of Alpha's announcement.

Observing him carefully, I didn't gauge any sign that he was nervous or worried about the situation. Holed up inside himself, he kept blocking each and every probe from my part.

"I'm putting the pack on lock-down until we deal with the perpetrators," he declared without actually saying who the perpetrators were. "No coming in or going out of pack's territory. No leaving your homes unattended and no staying out after sundown."

There was unbending resolve in his voice. The calm facade slipped from his face and was replaced by that look, the one that said 'you'd whether bend or die'. This was the Alpha I knew. This was the man who broke me—his mate and the proud girl who had a was supposed to become an alpha one day. A day when he didn't exist in her world.

This was the man who crushed her and now he was doing the same to his own pack by taking their liberty away.

I had a feeling they were not going to sit back and let him do that.