Book 2: She's Out To Please (Duff McKagan FanFic)

Ch. 19: Hurricane

"Duff?"

The voice was tiny. So tiny, that I almost hadn't heard it. And yet, at the same time, that same tiny voice was somehow enough to pull me from my alcohol-induced coma.

Groggily, I forced open my eye lids. Straight ahead, the stars were still shining, although not spinning as badly as they once were. Around me, nothing but the frigid air of California at night.

Fumbling, I reached for a nearby bottle. Finding one, I pulled it to me, knowing immediately that it was empty.

"Fuck..." I groaned, squeezing my eyes shut and carelessly tossing the bottle into the air. The far off sound of shattering glass was my only clue as to where it had eventually landed on the pavement below.

In the deafening silence that followed that crash, the voice spoke again.

"What are you doing up here?"

The shuffling of footsteps stopped just beside my head, and I opened my eyes to see Mary towering above me. It was a funny thing, considering I was usually the one staring down at her. But I was in no rush to get up, especially not with my head still reeling from the alcohol from earlier. Besides, I could see up Mary's skirt from down here.

"What aren't you doing up here?" I teased, trying desperately to get a better peek at her panties despite the both of us being shrouded in darkness.

Mary shook her head as though I were a lost cause. The same head shake my aunt and many other family members had given me in the past. It reminded me of my mother.

"You're drunk," she commented softly.

I watched her silently as she took a seat next to me, her legs crossing as she got comfortable. She avoided my gaze for the longest time, doing everything she could to ignore me. I guessed she was looking for an explanation, but I had nothing to offer her.

Yes, I was drunk. So what? I was legal. I was a grown ass man. And, after all of the shit I'd been through recently, I deserved to get hammered every now and again if I so wished. I didn't get what she was so pissed off about. It was just some vodka.

"And you're not," I shot back, continuing the back and forth thing we had going.

Mary rolled her eyes and snorted. "You're an absolute mess. Is that cocaine on your nose?"

I tried my best to sniff quietly, following it up with a quick brush of the nostril to try and discreetly hide the evidence of the partying Steven had eventually talked me into.

"No!" I muttered, a tad too hastily.

Mary laughed, a bitter sound, before nodding to herself. "Wow. I have got to say, this is really sad."

At this point, I was struggling to sit up. I was desperate to speak to her, to get my words out and try to figure out what it was she was babbling on about, but it was difficult to even lift my head, let alone my entire body. So I lay besides her, clutching at the hem of her dress, tugging at it for emphasis.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" I slurred, growing agitated both with Mary as well as my body's lack of cooperation. "I'm tired, I work all of the time, you stress me out-"

"I stress you out?" Mary's eyes glared down at me, a fire in them. A fire like I'd never seen before. "What's so stressful about me? I go to your rehearsals, I smoke weed with your friends, I fuck you daily! What is it about me that you find to be so stressful that you have to go and make a fool of yourself?"

That was the kick I needed. The push that finally allowed me to sit up and look her dead in the eyes. Fury rushed over me like a wave, and a hurricane flew from my tongue.

"That's just it, Mary. No girl is ever this easy. No girl is ever this perfect. Especially not an immature, little high school girl!" I roared, grabbing at her arm and holding fast.

Not only did I want to make sure that she would be forced to stay through my entire outburst, but I also feared that I might just topple over if I didn't have something to hold onto. Unfortunately, that something was Mary.

"Ow! Stop it, Duff. You're hurting me!" She tried to pull her arm away, but I gripped her even tighter.

Her words just weren't registering in my mind. Nothing was really getting through to me. The only thing I could process right now, was the words falling from my mouth, and even those didn't have the time to be censored or considered. I knew I was talking, but I had no control over what was coming out.

"What am I to you, huh? Or do you just go around fucking all of your teachers? It's an easy A, right? You don't care about me, you've never cared," I suddenly found myself exploding with every single worry I had ever felt since I'd met Mary. Only, they weren't coming out as fears, they were accusations. And horrible ones at that.

When had I become such a monster?

"Duff!" Her voice was a whimper as tears stung at her eyes. Her nails clawed at my hand, leaving tiny pools of blood in their wake, but I wasn't finished yet.

"And what about Dean, huh? You're not over him yet, are you? I see how you look at him. You won't even tell me anything about him," I choked out, tears forming in my eyes now too.

The old, familiar panic began to rise in my chest. I gasped for air, but my lungs continued to starve. Nothing was making sense, and I was swinging blindly now.

"You're using me, aren't you?" I whispered, unsure if Mary was even still listening at this point.

She was like a terrified rabbit, cornered by a wolf and desperate to get away. She wasn't even acknowledging me anymore, just tugging and clawing at my arm in an attempt to flee. What had gotten into her? My grip wasn't that tight, was it?

"Do you even love me?" I demanded.

The question was answered with a stinging slap to my cheek. In the solitude of the night, the sound of skin on skin made an echoing boom that reverberated along the concrete. I released Mary's arm to cradle my aching cheek in my palm. We both sat frozen in shock at Mary's sudden outburst, and it took Mary a moment to finally speak.

"Look at you! Listen to yourself!" Mary shrieked in anguish as she stood up to leave.

"Mary..." I tried to reach out for her, but she stepped just out of my reach. In my hindered state, I clumsily toppled to the ground.

Pathetic.

"Don't touch me," she warned me, holding up an accusing finger as though she may smite me with lightning if I dare ignore her orders. "Did you hear anything you just said? Do you see what you did to me?"

She held up her arm, and I flinched at the red, swollen patch that erupted along the delicate skin that resided there. Had I really been so rough?

"Do you love me?" She shot back, her voice breaking as she spoke.

"Mary, of course I do," I stammered. "Let me make it up to you. Let's just forget this happened, okay? You don't have to tell me you love me. Let's just go smoke some weed with Steven and chill and just forget about it, okay?"

I tried to stand, but my legs buckled and I was soon crashing to the ground once more. This time, I hardly had the strength to even lift my head as Mary spoke again.

"I will forget about this," Mary spat. "And I'll definitely forget about you."