The Baby Whisperer [ON HOLD]

Chapter 1: The Guy on Fire

Dedicated to The_Aristocrat because we're selfish like that and this chapter is 80% her hardwork. Give her some love, yo! She's awesome -- though she is in frequent denial of that fact.

Picture of Oliver (aka Danny Schwarz) in the sidebar.

Chapter song: LMFAO's Sexy and I Know It 

***Oliver's POV***

 When I walk on by, girls be looking like damn he fly ... Ah ... Girl look at that body ... Ah ... Girl look at that body ... Ah ... I work out ... I'm sexy and I know it.

Do you see that guy under the covers?

The one in just his boxer shorts, his mouth-watering abs in full display?

That’s me, Oliver I’ll-make-you-drop-your-panties Wood.

If you haven’t noticed -- and it’s not like you can’t -- I’m hot.

So why are the covers over my head, you ask? Well it’s fucking summer -- and since I’m a teen and sleep is my first priority -- I wake up when that big ball of light called the sun (for all you Internet crazed folks out there)is long gone before waking up.

“Ollie!” A high-pitched kiddie screech cuts through my dream -- and let me tell you, it was a good dream. About Belle and her pert little arse and her mouth on my --

“Ollie!”

I groan, rolling over, trying to block out the noise with my pillow.

I love you pillow -- Have I ever told you that? Well I’m telling you now.

“Oh, Ollie!”

A guy couldn’t catch a fucking break around here, could he?

The screaming voice was right by my ear now. “Ollie, Ollie, Ollie!” my annoying, seven year old, sister, Luna, screams at the top of her lungs. Each time she says my name, she hits my arm surprisingly hard with her small fists.

Is it still illegal to murder your little sister? I’ll give her a proper funeral and everything, I swear.

“Are you awake?!” Her voice raises an octave -- I didn’t know that was even possible -- and I think I go fucking deaf.

What else could explain the ringing in my ears?

“I am now,” I growl, opening an eyelid to glare at her. “Why are you waking me up so early?” I sneak a look at my alarm clock. “It’s twelve in the goddamn morning, Lu.”

She rolls her big blue eyes at me and flips her long blonde hair over her shoulder. This was something she just learned to do but did whenever she got the chance.

“It’s noon,” she tells me in a ‘duh’ tone and I roll my eyes at her. “And Mum says you should get out of bed now. They’ll be leaving soon and they need you to take care of Fred and me for the afternoon.”

“Leaving?” I ask, throwing an arm over my eyes to block out the sun -- Who made it so fucking bright in the first place? -- “Where the hell are they going?”

“They’re going to the moon, remember?”

“Moon?” I ask, my voice muffled.

“Yup,” she says, popping the ‘p’.

Removing my arm, I blink a few times at Luna before it clicks. “You mean that’s today?” I snag another look at digital alarm clock on the table next to my bed. Well, shit.