A Body at Book Club: Myrtle Clover #6

Chapter Nineteen

"Ignore it!" growled Maxine in a whisper.

But Myrtle cut off whatever else Maxine was planning on saying by taking her cane and hitting it as hard as she could on Maxine's forearm. Maxine howled in fury as the gun hit the floor. As she reached for it, Myrtle bolted for the front door, yanking it open.

Myrtle towered over the very startled looking mustachioed older man on her front step. He wore a green golf shirt with a "Greener Pastures Retirement Home" logo embroidered on it. "Mrs. Clover?" The man gaped at the wild-looking old woman in front of him.

Maxine let out a furious, guttural cry behind them and Myrtle shoved her way past the small man, thumping with her cane as she headed as fast as she could for the Greener Pastures van that was outside her home.

A grating voice shouldered its way into her brain. "The key is in the van."

She headed straight for the driver's seat.

Myrtle climbed in, tossing the cane into the passenger seat. The van was left running and the keys were, as promised by Wanda, left in the ignition. Myrtle hit the lock on the door right as Maxine stumbled out onto Myrtle's front step, frightening the Greener Pastures man even further, if that were possible.

"What in the dickens are you doing?" barked a ferocious voice behind her in the van.

Myrtle swung around to see a cadaverous old woman with a huge, beak-like nose.

"Are you quite demented?" demanded the woman.

"Put your seatbelt on," she ordered as she pushed on the accelerator with her foot.

"You are demented!" gasped the old woman.

"Yes I am!" hollered Myrtle. "And if you don't shut your trap and put your seatbelt on, you're going to be sorry!"

Myrtle pushed hard on the accelerator again and the van's engine revved loudly.

"Take it out of park!" screeched the old woman.

Myrtle grasped the gearshift, put the van in reverse, and took off backward. The old woman's head bobbed violently. But she did put her seatbelt on.

Myrtle sped away down the street, heading for downtown Bradley.

"Where are we going?" asked the old woman peevishly. "I was supposed to be going on a tour of Greener Pastures."

"Quiet!" said Myrtle sharply. "Aside from one, short, slow drive earlier this afternoon, I haven't driven a vehicle for months. I need to focus."

She peered into her rearview mirror and spotted Maxine's car behind her, pulling out of her driveway and quickly moving toward the van. "She's lost her mind," muttered Myrtle.

"Must be catching!" carped her passenger.

Myrtle pressed harder on the accelerator and saw Maxine speed up in response.

"It's Mr. Toad's wild ride!" croaked the woman from the back.

But now Myrtle knew where she was heading. The square downtown—and the police station. And Red.

The dogwood-lined streets went by like a blur and Myrtle quickly reached the square downtown with its Revolutionary War soldier statue in the middle. And she saw that Red was just stepping out of the police station, sandwich in his hand, about to take a bite.