" S 1 E 1 0 : Z O O M Z O O M "
-SEOKJIN-
[ sighs, pinches nose bridge ]
"so i'm home alone sitting on the couch right?"
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seokjin: [ sits on couch in house robe and slippers with givenchy reading glasses on ]
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"and i think to myself: 'self, this would be a great time, to bless the public with another selca.' "
seokjin: [ to self, contently ] this is the perfect time to bless my disciples with another selca.
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"so i only take a selca or two."
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seokjin: [ takes 400327420 selcas ]
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"and i post it on the gram."
"by the way follow me on the gram @verseokce and on my business instagram @therealmizomoscato i accept business inquiries only for bookings please contact my agent via email k.seokjin@naver.com."
"but anyway i post my selca, right?"
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seokjin: [ posts selca ]
"but then, i start to get all these notifications from followers commenting on my photo all at once. so i'm like ooooh i must be popular, but i look at my picture and they keep asking 'are you and hana splitting?', and 'who is this mystery woman seokjin oppa?' "
"so now i'm like well shit, i understand why they call her the mystery woman because bitch i got the same question as the rest of them! the mystery woman you speak of is a mystery to me too, the fuck? and do i look like velma to you?"
pd: "seokjin, do you think you could tone down the profanity a bit?"
"boy if you don't shut up with your razor tooth having ass and let me speak i'm gonna--"
-SEOKJIN-
pd: "alright, take two."
"back to my story, before i was so rudely interrupted."
[ side eyes ]
"naturally, i get on naver and search myself to see if i can get some clues as to... what is happening right now because i have no clue, what is going on in my own life."
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seokjin: [ types his name into naver search bar ]
"and when i see the photos, with my so called 'mystery woman'..."
seokjin: [ gasps ]
