The Delinquent (A Sidemen Fanfiction)

Chapter 7

     Did I feel guilty about what I just did? Yes. Did I regret it? No. There's a difference. I grunted as I pulled myself up the tree limbs, climbing back up to my window. When I reached my window, I almost fell. The window was closed. Dammit. I sighed as I climbed back down. It's not like I wanted to keep it a secret, but maybe just for tonight. I walked around to the front door. I opened it and all three of their heads rose up to look at me. They were waiting on the stairs. I gave them a small smile and wave. "Hey...guys." I said, dragging out my words. They were quiet. "Your hair is blue." Josh said, looking at me. I had snuck out intentionally to just go get some cigarettes, but passed a barbershop and this kind of happened. I nodded. "You stole my wallet." Simon snarled. I looked down and reached in my back pocket, retrieving his wallet. He snatched it out of my hands and stomped up the stairs. Josh walked up to me, his hand extended out. "What?" I asked. "The cigarettes and anything else you bought." He said, his voice completely serious. I had come prepared for this. I had taken three cigarettes out of the pack and slipped them in my bra before I even turned into this street. I handed him the pack slowly. He snatched it out of my hand, making me jump slightly. Then he, too, stomped up the stairs. I looked at Vik, his eyes still wide at my hair.  "Go ahead and walk away all pissed off. You know you want to." I said, pointing up the stairs. He sighed and looked at the ground, taking his turn in stomping off. I leaned against the door. This was the first time I had fucked up since I arrived a week ago and probably the last time I would ever see a bit of trust from any of them, especially Simon. I felt bad for stealing from him. It was actually way too easy not to, honestly. He was taking a shower and his bedroom door was open, something that didn't happen back home. No one trusted me. I didn't trust anyone. Well, except for Lane. He's the only one who hasn't left me. My dad left, that's when I started acting out. My mom always had a new filthy rich boyfriend to keep her plenty of company. But Lane always had time for me and always wanted to hang out with me. A tear slipped out of my eye at the thought. God, I missed him. I looked up at the ceiling. For some very odd reason, this made me calm down slightly. "Mackenzie." A voice made me look at the stairs again. Simon stood there, staring at me with his eyebrows furrowed. I stared at him expectantly, waiting. "Why would you steal from me?" He asked. "And how did you get cigarettes?" He added quickly. "My fake ID is in your wallet." I answered the second question, avoiding the first. "Why did you steal from me?" He repeated, stepping off of the bottom step. I sighed, standing up straight. "I was just...I don't know, okay? You were in the shower and your wallet was just kind of there. I just wanted to get some cigarettes, but then I passed this barbershop and this happened." I said quickly, feeling guilt rise up in me. He sighed. "I went into your room and you were gone. Your window was open. It's midnight, do you know how worried we were?" He asked. I looked up at him from my shoes. No one, besides Lane of course, had ever openly admitted to being worried about me. Not my mom. Not my counselor. No one. "And what kind of barbershop is open at midnight?" He asked, an eyebrow raising. He was trying to joke, but I just ignored him. I found myself walking to him and wrapping my arms tightly around his waist. He had cared about me. He worried about me. He actually cares. "Uh-okay." He said awkwardly. I pulled away and I felt my face grow warm. What the hell did I just do that for? "I thought you were trying to get your shit together." He said, his voice quiet. I sighed again. "I am." I said, looking down at my feet. "Doesn't really look like you're trying very hard." He says. I clenched my fists, my nails digging into my palm. "Shut the fuck up! I'm trying! I'm fucking trying my hardest! And if what I'm doing isn't good enough for you then I'm sorry! I'm sorry, okay?!" I yelled, my hands shaking, anger pulsing through me. He stayed silent. I sighed and pushed past him and jogged up the stairs, breathing deeply, trying to calm myself. "Mackenzie. Wait!" He said. I raised a hand above my head and extended my middle finger. I didn't want to hear his bullshit apology. I leaned against my bedroom door once I closed it and flicked the lock closed. I walked to the window automatically, sliding it opens taking a seat on the window seat. I grabbed a cigarette from my bra along with a lighter. I lit it and took one long drag. Oh how that was needed. I exhaled out the window. I might've been lying when I said I never did drugs. When I was a drug dealer, a good one at that, I sometimes did get paid in little amounts of weed. That's the only drug I've ever done. It was nice. And I missed it. Hell, I missed a lot of things. There was a knock on my door and I exhaled quickly. "Fuck off." I said, loud enough for whoever it was to hear. "I won't tell Josh you're smoking if you let me in." Simon's voice came from the other side of the door. How did he know? I sighed as I placed the cigarette on the window sill and quickly went to unlock the door. I twisted the handle, barely opening it. Simon stepped in, quickly closing the door behind him. I took my seat again, picking up my cigarette. He took a seat across from me, looking out the window. "How'd you know I was smoking?" I asked. "My window is right over there." He said, pointing behind him with his thumb. I mentally facepalmed. Then, he coughed. I smirked. "Pussy." I said quietly. He glared at me. "Smart, actually." He said, moving away from me. I rolled my eyes. "What'd you want?" I asked, smothering the cigarette out on the brick wall outside. I flicked it into the yard, facing Simon again. "I'm sorry. I know you're trying and I shouldn't have said that. I was just pissed because you stole from me. You can't do that, you know? I trusted you." He said. I looked up at the ceiling and listened. "What was that hug about?" He asked. I felt my stomach twist slightly. Might as well tell him the truth, try and gain his trust again. "No one's ever openly admitted to being worried about me. Or caring about me. No one cares about me." I said, saying the last part quietly. "Mackenzie, all of us guys care about you. Your friend that you call everyday, he cares about you. Your mum cares-" I decide to stop him there. "My mom wouldn't care if I was dead in a ditch. Or passed out drunk at some stranger's house. Or in jail. Or walking the streets, high as a kite." I said, my voice sharp. "I'm sure that's not true. She-" "Ever since my dad left, all she's ever cared about is her endless string of boyfriends. After my dad left, I had no one but Lane. You just don't understand how it is growing up with no parents, no one to look up to but your best friend." I interrupted him again. He sighed and stood up again, walking over to me and sitting down right bedside me, his leg against mine. He slung an arm around my shoulder and pulled me into him. "You're right. I don't understand. But I'm here for you. You know that?" He said. I squeezed my eyes shut as if I were in physical pain. This actually hurt me. No matter who is 'always there for me', they leave. Lane is all I have. He is the only person I will gladly form a relationship with. I can't form a relationship with any of the guys here. I would just fuck it up anyways. I would let them down. I would disappoint once again, like I always had. It was silent and a tear slipped out of my eye. My eyes remained shut as my head rested on Simon's shoulder. Somehow, I feel asleep.