A/N: This is completely separate from YTSTMB and Refound Love! I was in the car on a motorway listening to No Air by Jordin Sparks when I first started writing this, so there's a chance it's loosely based on that. Song in side!
I'm aching. I'm in need, so I drive and I drive and I drive, the streetlamps that line the motorways make it all repetitive and I feel like I'm not getting anywhere.
I can't bring myself to admit why I dragged myself out of bed at this time of night, but all I know is that I'm restless by my head spinning and it's plagued by the never-ending thoughts of him.
Too much time passes me before I eventually I reach the junction that is now familiar to me, I don't need any directions to get to where I'm going anymore since the tyres of my car have probably pressed into the same roads enough to leave permanent prints. Once I get off the motorway, I feel my foot pushing down on the accelerator without my permission but I don't care as long as it gets me there faster.
I'm lucky that there are hardly any cars on the road which is a little out of the ordinary for London, but at least I don't have to worry about endangering other people too much with my reckless driving.
The speed and risks pay off though and in a record time of a few minutes and I pull into the car park while a heavy sigh of relief escapes my lungs and I feel myself healing already at the sight of the block of apartments of where he lives. I've already memorised where his is placed and a soft light illuminates the window, and I find myself wondering why he's up at this time.
I let myself in the building using the pin he trusted me with that opened the doors, and instead of waiting for the lift I run up the stairs to the sixth floor. My shortness of breath doesn't matter because I have a sudden visit by adrenaline knowing that I'm getting closer to him which presses me on, making sure I get there as soon as I can.
I raise my fist to knock on the door that separated me from him, but then paused, not sure if I should go on any further. I shouldn't be here. Not at this time of night, anyway.
It'd be a waste of time and petrol and money if I just turned back now, and maybe, just maybe, he might need me too.
My knuckles rap against the door five times. Cautiously at first, but urgency added power to my knocks, because I need him, and I need him now.
After a few moments without any sign of the door about to be answered, I'm calling myself all the names under the sun because I shouldn't be here, I'm probably interrupting something important and why didn't I just call him instead?
The door opens then when I finish that last thought and I try to act causal like it's normal to be asking for your best friend's attention when it's almost 3am, but my heart jumps when my eyes land on the boy I've been craving for.
He's in a baggy t-shirt that hides his frame and those black jogging bottoms that he wears to death and of course, he's barefoot as per usual. Dark circles ring his dark copper eyes like he hasn't slept in days and now I wish I got here earlier. Curly brown locks that he's always hated but I've loved endlessly hardly bother to cover his scowling face, and I can tell from all the tangles that he had a shower earlier.
"Peej," his voice is quiet but his eyes light up when he realises it's me and he looks confused for a moment but a smile light touches those pink lips. He lets me in and I wait after he's closed to the door before I wrap my arms him tightly. "It's like you knew I wanted you here," he says and I can't help but think that maybe we were connected in a way no one could really explain.
"I'm here now. Why are you up so late?"
"I couldn't sleep, I'm worrying about everything and I can't stop thinking, it's all just going round and round and round..." His voice gets more frantic as the sentence goes on so I squeeze him tightly and rub my hand against his back to try and calm him.
"Shh, it's okay. Let me take your mind off things," I press a kiss to his forehead and even though it's not the sort of kiss I catch myself daydreaming about, it's close enough.
"You're too late for that, Harry Potter's already doing that for me," his hand is soft as it slips into mine and he pulls me into the lounge. I see he's not lying as one of the Harry Potter films are paused on a ridiculously big TV, but I don't pay enough attention to it to figure out which one it is because I'm too occupied on watching Dan instead.
His back leans against my front as I'm sitting up and our legs lie along the sofa and I rest my side on the back of it so it takes my weight. One of my arms is wrapped around his middle and the other would be doing the same if Dan wasn't playing with my other hand.
Hermione mentions something about having the emotional range of a teaspoon and I feel butterflies in my stomach when Dan laughs quietly, maybe to not disturb Phil who I assume is in his room working on something. Either way I hear him come into the lounge and I tilt my head to look at him.
"Hey Peej," he smiles and I'm slightly surprised he doesn't look confused or ask why I'm here, but then again, this isn't exactly an unusual thing for me to do.
"Phil, how are you?"
"I'm good, I'm not even going to ask you since you're probably fine now you're with Dan," he laughs and I reply with a sheepish grin.
"You know me."
"You do either of want anything from the kitchen?"
"I'm good, thanks."
"Same."
"Alright, night guys."
"Goodnight Phil," me and Dan say in unison and somehow it's enough to set us off into fits of giggles for at least 10 minutes.
"We should go to bed, Phil probably doesn't appreciate our antics at this time of the morning," Dan chuckles, switching the TV off and standing up, waiting for me to follow and then leads me into the kitchen.
"What is that?" I ask, pointing to a glass by the sink which 3/4 full of a green gloopy liquid.
"Phil whisked a load of stuff together because he was bored but I'm not sure if he ever tried it. Here, have some," he handed it to me which made me pull a face.
"I don't think so."
"Please? For me?" And with big eyes like those, how could I resist?
"Ugh, okay, but you owe me... It tastes disgusting,” I laugh, turning so I lean against the side.
“I wouldn’t know,” he says quietly but Dan's smiling softly and I feel proud I could distract him from his worries, even if it was for a while.
“Maybe you should try it,” I reach out for his hand, playing with his thin fingers for a second before interlocking them with mine and pulling him closer to me.
His eyes are still on our linked hands, watching them carefully, nibbling on his bottom lip and then those beautiful eyes are looking into mine and I find that I’m in love. I’m in love with the boy in front of me and I drove 45 minutes in the late night to be next to him so our hearts could connect and beat in time like they always did when we were together.
Everything I’ve done in the last year is now making sense; it’s all clicking into place. I’m in love and even though I didn’t know it consciously, it showed in my actions and everything I said.
He flickers down to my lips and then back up to my eyes again, his free hand places itself on my waist. He slowly leans in and his eyes begin to close and my breath catches in my throat, my stomach is doing somersaults and every cell in my body is screaming because this is all I’ve wanted for longer than I care to remember.
And then what feels like seconds but years at the same time, he kisses me. It’s awkward and a little bumpy and our lips are chapped but even though we’ve had to wait this long, I don’t regret any part of it and I wouldn’t have changed a thing.
We get more confident around each other, I pull him back in immediately after he breaks away and his hand grips onto my waist that little bit stronger and my arms wrap themselves around his neck, but the kisses are still gentle and loving.
We were just being careful, no rushing involved, we had too much time for that and who would want our attention when it’s almost 4 in the morning?
But it’s all perfect. Everything about it is. From the timing, the place, the way we leaned into each other, how our lips moulded into each other, everything.
But all good things come to end and oxygen becomes our greatest need, so the kissing ends and our foreheads are resting against each other’s. We’re panting a little but smiling so effortlessly and even though those three little words hadn’t been whispered yet, we were both thinking it and that’s all I needed to know.
