crossroads ✿ jily

Chapter Three - Stepping Down

"May I have a word with you, please?"

Lily hid her clenched hands behind her back as she stood before an irritated-looking James Potter and his three friends in the Great Hall. Sirius Black was throwing her an extremely condescending look, Peter Pettigrew looked as though the sight of her made him sick, and Remus Lupin remained perfectly blank. She supposed she should thank him for that, at least. James sighed and replied,

"I'm eating."

Normally, this would have made her angry, but she was a girl on a mission. She had made up her mind the night before to lay down the law with him once and for all, and she wasn't about to let her insecurities get in the way now. Cringing inwardly at her own word choice, she thought that it was strange that she'd only begun to feel truly insecure around him in recent months...probably just because she'd never had to work with him as closely before. Pushing the thought from her mind for now, she cleared her throat and said quietly,

"This can't wait, I'm afraid."

He glanced up at her, and although his eyes hadn't lost their sheen of impatience, at least her tone seemed to have gotten his attention. Setting his fork down on his plate, he stood up and turned to face her. He was standing very close, looking down at her face. She wondered if he was actually trying to intimidate her with his size or if she was merely being paranoid in the wake of all this trouble. He raised his eyebrows expectantly and asked,

"Well?"

She turned and walked purposefully out of the Hall, praying that he'd at least have the decency to follow her and not sit back down. Pushing open the heavy wooden doors, she was relieved to feel someone behind her holding them open after she let them go. Walking off to the side, she turned around to look him in the face as she began,

"I wanted to talk to you about...what happened last night."

He raised his dark eyebrows yet again, as though waiting for her to continue. Grumbling inwardly, she went on, "I think this has all gone a bit too far, don't you?"

"What do you mean?" he asked in mock ignorance. She stifled a sigh...she was truly tiring of this charade. Still, she wasn't about to let this spiral into an argument. She wanted results from this conversation, not more resentment.

"Well," she continued stoically, "First of all, I think it was probably wrong of me to walk out on you in the library."

"Probably?" he laughed, crossing his arms in front of him.

"It was wrong, and for that I apologize...but you must understand that it came as a result of all these bad feelings that have been escalating between us for years. What I really wanted to talk to you about, though, was...er, that comment that Sirius Black made before you all went to bed last night. In the common room."

He didn't reply, but she could see something flicker in his eyes momentarily. She didn't know what it was, and she didn't care...she wasn't going to be deterred.

"I didn't think it was appropriate, to tell you the truth. In fact, I think it was way out of line."

He sighed and uncrossed his arms. "Come on, Evans...it was just a joke."

"It wasn't funny," she said seriously, causing him to shake his head and reply,

"Why are you talking to me about this? I didn't say it."

She shifted her books impatiently to her other hip and said, "Because you're Head Boy, and you didn't do anything to stop it. You didn't say anything in mine or Arabella's defense."

He looked her straight in the eye then, and she was a bit taken aback as he started talking. "How can you expect me to defend you? All you do every time you see me is complain and criticize. I doubt you've ever said a good word about me in your life...and anyway, I should think you'd be fully capable of standing up for yourself."