Love

His name is James Carter.

He’s the shy type,
reserved and quiet -
the type to look away when someone looks into his eyes
the type to agree to anything - just because he doesn’t want to talk.

Everyone knows his dad died a few years ago;
things were never quite the same
he went from being the happy and innocent one that everyone knew
to the one that hides in the corners and fakes a few smiles
and everyone knows
he’s hurting on the inside.

Shallow breaths and muttered thoughts -
those are the things James knows.
It’s the start of another flurry of thoughts,
clouding his actions,
ringing in his ears like gunshots,
one after the other,
no breaks in-between
and for a second he thinks he’s deaf
but then he sees those eyes,
colour green as the emeralds on his mother’s ring,
and the owner of those eyes - Daniel Smith.

He trusts him.

His mom is non-existent in James’ home
A hollow figure of the once proud woman she was.
He thinks he knows why
She loved his father

And his father died

It was enough to break her
and James wasn’t enough to build her anew.

“Does she even care?”
James questioned time and time again.
His mother left him to fend for himself
cooking and cleaning,
washing and living,
from the age of 14
to now, 19.

James Carter – Daniel’s weakness,
his partner, his lover;
he was there every step of the way.
Staying over and helping,
listening and guiding,
because he cares.
It’s times like these when he sees James smile
with his rich chocolate doe-like eyes,
he forgets to breathe - just like a forgotten lady’s glove
his heartbeat is racing and he thinks -
no, he knows;
he loves him.

James wants his mother –
he remembers her smiles and laughs,
like a picture impossibly painted on a running river
but how can he bring her back?
He’s not enough.

It’s a rare night;
a silent family dinner,
Ms. Carter at the head of the table,
James and Daniel together,
And she wishes
she knew her son better.

Ms. Carter’s usual frown is on her face,
expression neutral - not a trace of emotion.
It makes James panic and he reaches under the table,
Daniel grasps it, gives it a firm squeeze
and James recognized those three words Daniel was trying to convey -
I love you.

“Mom, I have something to tell you,” James begins,
His mother looks up, feigned ignorance.
“What is it, darling?” She almost forces out -
the words are far too sweet on her tongue
and James knew his mother well enough to know it was strained.

“I love Daniel.”

James watches with rapt attention,
his mother’s left eyebrow twitches,
he knows that look -
it was the last time she looked at his father
and he realises it’s that word - love.

PENIS!

Ok, now I have your attention. I was wondering if you guys wanted me to continue this. Comment/PM me whether or not you want me to continue. Thx 😁