From the Secret Diaries of Samuel Pepys: "Legendary..."

Legendary

London...August 1665...The plague has devastated the city...Tens of
thousands dead...

But those surviving the disease are even worse off...

For true to 20-21st sci fi, they have been left mutants...Hideously
deformed mutants...

"Bad enough...Though even worse..." Sam Pepys, sole human survivor in the
City owing to flea aversion...

"Anti-materialist Quakers in their theology."

"Pepys..." A hollow cry from below in the courtyard of Seething Lane...
"We must properly supply the wants of our seamen."

"My God...Plague-marred Batten back again?" rush to the window.

"Take heed of the suffering, Pepys...Arrggg!" cry as mutant Batten is
killed by booby-trap pit.

"Take heed of that suffering, fellow!"

"Pepys...Join your fellow Englishmen in making peace and reforming this
land. I have renounced all vice, returned to my dear queen's side,
and will now lead the nation with the help of Parliament as a good
English king should." Mutant Charles calls. "We need your naval
expertise to negotiate peace with Holland, Pepys."

"Right after I negotiate with the Pope, you thing from Hell!" Sam
fires crossbow.

Arggh...

Yikes! Sam ducks as mutant Queen Caroline tosses diseased arm of dead
Charles his way. Nice throwing arm...

A crash below...

"Mr. Pepys! Where are you?" Hewer's voice, distorted by plague
mutation.

The fiends...To bring in my own clerk.

"I have the receipts from the last Tangier committee meeting."

Now that is just too low...Bad enough when they sent Mother and Bess to
lure me out...

But they haven't counted on the vow-developed self-control of one
Samuel Pepys...

He arrives, sword in hand...

"Hewer, your services are no longer required." Arggh!

"You've danced your last two-step, Pembleton..." wicked sword thrust
nearly avoided...But the deformed dancing master is no longer quite so
nimble, Sam notes with sneer.

Arggh...

"Pepys!"

"Oh, this must be a happy dream..." Sam beams at a heavily muffled in
cloth wrappings but unmistakable Admiral Sir William Penn calling to
him from the hallway...

"But Pepys...I'm not one of them!" Penn reveals unmarked face.
Arggghhh...

"Seems the sword is mightier than the Penn..." Sam exults.

"What was that, Sir Will? I don't think I heard ye."

***