From coordinator to girlfriend

Saved his life

After B.A.P left, Saejin slowly stood up. He went to the kitchen and took out a knife. He lay it on the coffee desk in the living room and looked at it then looked at the window. He opened it and stare at it. *Cut myself or jump down?* Saejin wondered as he took the kinfe. *Will cutting myself hurt more or jump down the window?* Saejin wondered again.

After thinking for a few minutes, he finally decided to jump down. As he is sitting on the window sill, he closed his eyes. He heard his door opened and yet, he paid no attention. As he is going to jump, someone pulled him back into the living room.

Saejin slowly opened his tears-filled eyes and saw B.A.P. "Wae?! Why did you save me?!" Saejin shouted as he cried more. "Calm down!" Himchan instructed but it didn't have any effect on Saejin as he kept crying.

They let him cry and finally, he calmed down. "Calmed down?" Daehyun asked and Saejin nodded tiredly. "What do you think you are doing?!" Himchan shouted and a little demanding. "Trying to end my dark and pathetic life." Saejin replied, monotone. "Your life is not pathetic and it is dark because you keep looking at it negatively. Try looking at it from a positive angle and besides, life was meant to be lived. You can't just say you want to die and give up everything if you didn't even try anything. You shouldn't even give up if you have reached your last breath. You should fight till you can't fight anymore, fight till your last and final breath. Until then.. You can finally give up. But.. You didn't even try and yet, you want to give up?!" Yongguk said as he looked at him and Saejin just looked down.

"Look at us. You think us being an idol is without any hard work? Without any effort? Without any suffering? Do you think we can become an idol if we all give up like you? No! We didn't give up even till our last breath. We broke down, thought of giving up and bleed and yet.. We endured it all. Because we endured it, we can finally realized our dreams and reach our goal which no other people can reach." Youngjae and Yongguk said as they looked at him.

"Saejin-ah, we are asking you to get over your sister's death and not forget her because even we know that it is impossible. Let time heal your wounds and hope you'll be better soon." Himchan said as he patted his shoulder.

Saejin nodded and went into his room and lay there. *Hyungs are right. I can't keep holding onto the past. I have to move on even though i know it's hard. I can't let Eunji see me like this. Even though i always put up a front just to hide my past, it will eat me up someday. I got to stop putting a front.* Saejin thought and went to sleep.

"Hyung, luckily you asked us to come back. If we didn't.. Saejin hyung would've died." Zelo said and Yongguk nodded. "Yah, how do you know he was going to hurt himself?" Himchan asked as he looked at Yongguk. "I know that look in his eyes." Yongguk replied and they nodded. "Who would've thought he would do this." Youngjae sighed as he closed the window while Jongup went to keep the knife which is on the coffee table.

"How can someone even be thinking whether to cut himself to death or jump down the window? I mean, of course jumping down would've been the better choice." Daehyun said which shocked everyone. "Yah, you want to hear an hour long lecture from Yongguk hyung?" Himchan whispered to Daehyun and Daehyun saw Yongguk's expression. "Yonggukkie hyung, i-i'm just kidding." Daehyun said while smiling. "That'd better be." Yongguk said and they left while heaving a sigh of relief.