#SorryNotSorry

Chapter Thirteen - #SorryNotSorry Pt. 2

"My fucking God! You shot your mother, Nadi!" my mother yelled dropping down to her knees. I looked at the scene with a slight smirk on my face. This was bringing me back to the day I almost killed Tim.

Tasha lied down on the ground holding her chest wound coughing up dark red blood. My father stared at Nadia astonished. Not by the fact one of his children were shot, but by the fact Nadia was the one who did it.

Nadia is normally the sweet, quiet type. She never bothered a soul. While her mom was out doing God knows what, she was the one stuck taking care of her younger siblings. When I finally turned 18 and got my house, she would call on me whenever her mom would leave them alone. Tasha would leave them days at a time not knowing where they were or if they would even be alive when she got back. Nadia's so much like me. More than I thought in this moment.

Tasha was whimpering on the floor breaking me out of my staring war with my now 15 year old niece. I went to grab the gun, but she stepped back.

"Nah, KiKi, I gotta finish this for the both of us," she snarled with pure hatred in her eyes. I held my hands up in surrender and watched her kneel down to face her mother.

"Ma? Tasha? I'm done with the pain. I'm done with the abuse. This is your only way out. You let all those things happen to me, my sister, and my brothers. I'm wiping my hands clean of you. Before I let you go, just know that I forgive you so you won't go to hell thinking you have some kind of power over me," she smiled to herself and raised the gun to Tasha's left temple.

My mother started to grab Nadia, but she back handed Yolanda into Winter 2020. I mean really smacked some fire into her. I tried so hard not to bust out laughing. It was hard as fuck. My Nadi is my fuckin twin! She seems more bold than I was at that age.

Tasha tried talking and crying, but all that came out was soft gasps and blood pouring from her mouth. Nadia said a quick prayer and shot her mother point blank taking her out of her misery. I looked over at my father who had stood up from the table and stared at the dead Tasha on the dining room floor.

He crouched down and snatched the gun from Nadia. She let out a rough sigh and let her tears fall like a waterfall. He then sent a text from his phone to someone I'm guessing from clean up to get rid of the body.

Yolanda stood up mugging Nadia the same way she used to mug me and my sister. I tilted my head watching Yolanda. She slowly walked up on my father and slipped the gun from off of him. She raised it at me with the same devilish grin I use when I'm up to no good. I guess I do look like the bitch.

I snickered then it turned into a full blown laugh. I mean I was crying, slapping the table, about to fall out the chair laughing. This bitch was really gon try me? Me? Kailar muhhfuckkin Nandin? I stood up swiping the switchblade out of my boot. I walked up to her until I was face to face with the barrel of the gun.

Her mug turned soft as I adjusted the barrel dead center on my forehead. If she was gonna do it, she'd better get the job done.

She trembled as I leaned in and touched her face. "I forgive you and love you, mommy," I stepped back closing my eyes feeling the cold barrel to my head. I opened my eyes to my mother crying actual tears. She lowered the gun staring me in the face.

"I'm so sorry Kai! I fucked you and Tasha up! I wasn't thinking! This all started when I put some random ass nigga before my babies, and I'm sorry!" she wailed. She frantically shut her eyes and held the gun up to her head blowing her brains all over the wall and floor. I watched her lifeless body fall to her knees then slump to the side sliding down the wall.

This affected me more than I thought it would. I dropped down dramatically and held on to my dead mother. Blood got all over me, but I didn't give a fuck. My mother killed herself. Right in front of me. Was it the guilt? Was she being selfish? It was never my intentions to kill my mother. I was like Stewie on 'Family Guy' with that "death to my mother" shit. I loved that woman even after all the fucked up things she'd done to me. She'll have a nice burial though.

I held onto Yolanda zoned out. I was having my same old childhood type fantasy. Of course we were grown now. My mother and father together cooking and dancing while all of there grandkids ran around doing what children do. Tasha and I were chilling in the living room with Omari and Rico like we never had beef. It was great. If only it were true. I only came back to when I heard a baby crying.

"Kai, you still be zoning out?" I heard Roman's deep voice say scaring the hell out of me. He helped me off the floor while the clean up crew carried out my mother and sister.

He kept staring at me waiting for an answer, so I nodded not wanting to talk. Where did the baby come from? Tasha couldn't be pregnant because she had her tubes tied. Am I pregnant? Nah, can't be.

I shook off my nerves and went to my niece. She was sad that her mother was dead, but I could feel that she was somewhat relieved all her pain was over.

"KiKi, I'm sorry. I'm just exhausted. Protecting my brothers and sister has worn me out. I don't say much, but I always wished you were my mama," my niece admitted wrapping her arms around me.

I tried to force the words out of my mouth, but everything got caught in my throat. I just held onto my niece and took her and the rest of the kids back to my house where they would stay.