The Girl Who Left

Part 15

June 31, 2012

Summer vacation is here, and I have never felt more greatful. I can now relax, eat, and sleep as much as I want.

I'm so glad school is over, it takes so much time out of your day, and sometimes it's not even worth it. They don't teach you what's really important.

I mean sure you can learn how to calculate the side of a triangle by using some farfetched formula, but did they ever teach you how to get over a heartbreak? What to do after you graduate? Or even how to do taxes, or open a bank account?

They don't teach you the necessities of life, do they?

But thank God I can find the area of a square.

Now I'm not saying what they teach at school is completely useless. They just leave out the things you need to know, the things you might actually use in your life.

But that's just my opinion.

I just needed to get that off my chest, since some people think going to school is so prestigious.

But anyways, moving on. Julian and I have been hanging out a lot at the library, he says it's one of the greatest places for us to be. And I agree with him.

I mean, that's where we met.

He's just so different, so mature for his age. He's still trying to figure out where he belongs.

Or maybe he already does, and I wouldn't know. He's at peace with himself, and I admire that. I think I may be slowly falling for him, but my guard is up. I just don't want to be that mess that I once was.

Speaking of messes, my smoking has gone down. There's still a few, here and there. A study shows that 70% of people who smoke are more likely to be depressed, and I actually think that's true. People use smoking as an escape, as something that would slowly kill them.

It makes me recall a quote from a book I like, 'Looking for Alaska.'

"Y'all smoke to enjoy it. I smoke
to die."

And wasn't that what I was doing? I was smoking so much, to the point where I wanted the cigarettes to mess up my insides, and kill me.

But everything has an end. My cigarettes, my anger, my dissapointment, even me. You can't fool yourself into think everything lasts forever.

And as sad as I am to say it, it didn't last with him either.