In Another's Eyes

Chapter 12

Katniss

"Alright guys," I say as I stand in front of my senior vocals class. "Which one of you can tell me why the last verse of "The Thunder Rolls" is excluded from studio recordings of the song?" They all stare at me and I roll my eyes as I realize what they are all staring at. I erase my white board and flip on the lights. I turn back to them and sit on the edge of my desk.

"Mrs. Hawthorne?" Daphne, one of the shyer students in my class asks. "What's going on?"

"Well, I feel that nothing is going to get done in this class until I clear everything up about what has happened in the last few months," I say. "Because I know all too well that there are more than a few rumors about me flying around these halls." I cross my heels and stare at the twenty-five students I have been teaching since I started here two years ago. "So ask me anything about anything you've heard about me. And don't worry about offending me. I'd rather clear this up than hide from it." They all look very uneasy, so I get up.

"Fine, I guess I'll start with the hard part," I say. "In case you haven't noticed already, yes, I am pregnant. And no, my soon to be ex-husband is not the father." They all start whispering to one another and then Tommy, a blonde boy at the back raises his hand and I nod to him.

"You cheated on your husband?" He asks and I nod.

"Yes," I say. "I had an affair with a married man. I didn't go looking for this to happen, but it did."

"How did it happen?" Another, Lily, asks.

"I didn't want children," I say. "And my husband did. He wanted me to quit teaching you guys and be a happy little housewife for him. That first night was the last straw. He hit me when I refused to conceive a child with him. So I went out for a drink. I'd be lying to you if I said I wasn't looking for someone to go home with that night. And after that, I fell in love with someone who didn't want anything from me, who just wanted love. That was nearly nine months ago. And before you ask, yes, the man I met and intended only to have a one night stand with is the father of my baby." They all stare dumb founded until a young girl, one of the juniors who is advanced enough to take my class, stands up. She is like a young bird as she walks up the aisle. She stops before me and looks nervously in my eyes.

"Your husband wasn't a nice guy," she says. "I actually read the papers. And my father is a police officer. I know that he used to beat you, that your sister used to stay with you because he didn't have the guts to try and put you in line with a witness around. You didn't report him until two months ago when he raped you because you didn't want to be looked at with pity."

"You know a lot, Rue," I say. "And most of all, you know the truth. No sugar coating it. No false fluff to make the story more interesting. Just pure fact." I look back at the rest of the class. "I hid it well, didn't I? Long sleeves to hide cuts and grabbing bruises. Makeup does wonders to hide black eyes. But what you didn't know was that every night I didn't sneak out, I cried myself to sleep. That after I learned I was pregnant, I was terrified of when he would notice because there was no possibility of it being his."

"Who is he?" Daphne asks. "The man who cares for you?"

"It isn't important right now," I say and I point Rue back to her seat. "What is important is that you know the truth now. It isn't something that I ever intended to have to tell you. Something children should never have to hear, and let's face it, I'm not much more than a child at 25. I may get fired for talking about this today. But really, I don't care at this point. I'm happy to have thought you these two years, and if I do have to walk out those doors with you come May, I will with my head held high. I hope that I will have made a difference in your lives." I turn back to the board and pull my question back up on the board.

"Now back to my question earlier," I say, wanting to get back to the matter at hand. "Why do you think the conclusion of the story told in "The Thunder Rolls" was excluded originally?" Four hands slowly go up and I call on the first one. "Yes, Taylor."

"It was seen as too dark and left the listener guessing what happened after the wife found out about her husband's cheating," she says and I nod.

"That is a very good theory," I say. "In a song like this, that tells a story as its happening, keeping a sort of mystery to the story is an element that can either make you love the song more or hate it. As you can tell by Garth Brooks' success, this time leaving the ending out didn't hurt the song at all." Class goes on like this. All of them very uneasy, but at least answering my questions and participating. I hand out their assignments as the final bell for the day rings. Many exit, but about five or six of the girls hang back. Lily, Daphne, and Rue are among them. It is Jessica, a pretty red head who is on track to be a lawyer at Harvard, who speaks first.

"Is everything you told us true?" She asks.

"I wouldn't have told you had it not been," I say.

"Rue told us that after Mr. Hawthorne put you in the hospital, he disappeared," Lily says. "That they don't know where he is."

"Yes," I say. "I'm still waiting for him to come back and do something terrible. But I feel safe when I'm with the one who loves me. I hope to marry him in the spring after our child is born. So don't worry about me. I will be alright girls." They don't seem convinced, but they nod and Jessica writes a phone number on a notecard before handing it to me.

"When they do find him, give my Daddy a call," she says. "He's the best lawyer in the state. He'll help you put him away for a long time, Ms, uh," she pauses and then tilts her head. "What is your name?"

"Legally, it's still Hawthorne," I reply. "But in a few weeks, when my separation goes through, I guess I'll finally be myself again. I'll be Katniss Everdeen again." I smile sadly and they leave. Rue pokes her head in a last time before I get up to leave.

"See you tomorrow, Miss Everdeen," she says. I nod.

"See you tomorrow, Rue," I say. "And thank you for being the one who knew the truth."