Eyes Open

Amore

I loved weddings.

For one, the best weddings always have an open bar. Alcohol usually sets the tone for a good evening. And then, of course, there's nothing like being surrounded by vulnerable women all gussied up without dates who are more than willing to spend the night with you, then forget about their night of shame the next day.

It was only natural that a twenty-two year old like myself would indulge in such activities, right? My bachelor days stretched far on ahead of me, and I was only too happy to greet them with enthusiasm.

This wedding, though, was going to be a little bit different.

Partially because I was the Best Man, partially because my cousin was the one that was getting married, the poor bastard.

"Archer. Chill out, won't you?" I leaned back on the stuffy, oversized couch in the room the church used for daily mass and tucked my arms behind my head. "You look like you're about to puke, man."

Archer, possibly my favorite cousin, if I even had one of those, stopped his pacing long enough to shoot me a nasty glare. "Piss off, Carlo."

"What?" I said. "Your face is as pale as a sheet."

I was only stating the truth; Archer really did look as pale as a sheet. If I didn't know any better, I'd say he had cold feet.

But I did know better, sadly.

Archer and his soon-to-be-bride Hadley were a bit...weird. That was the only word my brain could come up with to describe their relationship. They bickered like an old married couple already and purposely did things to annoy one another, God only knowing why. Hadley was probably the only one who could get away with spraying Archer with the kitchen hose in the coffee house without being tackled.

They'd been dating for so long now that I had to admit it would be unnatural if they weren't together. Getting married only seemed like the natural thing to do for them, I guessed.

Despite the evidence in front of me, though, my mind still wasn't able to fathom it.

Why on earth someone would ever want to willingly shackle themselves to someone for the rest of their life was beyond me. Needless to say, marriage was not on my horizon.

"Dude." I sat up straight, giving Archer a no-nonsense look. "You're not having any doubts about this, are you?"

"No!" Archer grabbed the tissue box off the table beside him and chucked it at me. "I don't have cold feet. I just..."

I waited for Archer to finish his sentence. Instead he just continued to stare at the wall with a sort of horrified expression on his face.

"All right, Archer." I slapped my hands on my knees and stood when a couple of minutes had passed. "You gotta get your head in the game."

I walked up to him, slapped him on the shoulder, tried to get him to see straight. Didn't work.

So I slapped him in the face.

"What the hell, Carlo?" Archer shoved me back with a sharp jab to the shoulders. "What's your problem?"

"I'm not the one with the problem," I said as calmly as I could manage. It was becoming increasingly hard not to burst into giggles. Archer was just the perfect example of why men were not supposed to be married. "You're about to be married and you look like you're about to be put to death."

"Gee, thanks," Archer snapped.

"Look, man." I gripped his shoulders, forced him to look at me. "You love Hadley, don't you?"