Unsaid Words (A Larry Stylinson Fanfiction)

Letter 9 - This Sucks

Dear Harry,

I’m feeling better. I spoke to Liam about what happened and he helped me not to cut, instead he began training me in boxing. He told me that whenever he felt too depressed he’d take it out on a punch bag, I have to admit it did feel good but I was still upset. Zayn decided he’d help me too, we continued to work on our song for everyone. I cried, I admit that. I got a bit upset at some of the lyrics and it triggered my emotions, but I can’t wait for you to hear the song. It sounds amazing, Liam’s helping me with some guitar tips he learnt from Niall. Zayn has amazing vocals and they seem to think I have a good voice, not as well as yours though of course.

I see I didn’t get a letter back from you, does that mean you don’t love me anymore? Or is your job keeping you busy? It hurts, pouring my heart out to you and not getting a response but I guess I can deal with the pain. I got in trouble Harry… I tried to escape the unit, the gates were open for the food to be delivered and I jumped out of my window and ran straight out of it. I ran for a while but I was soon caught by Mike who dragged me back, it hurt because he clutched my arms where my cuts were. I swear he squeezed them on purpose to make me cry, they locked me in my room and said I wasn’t able to leave. They locked all my windows and took the keys, now I’m stuck here. I’m being watched as well so I don’t cut, its scary Harry. Usually I’d have you looking over me in a cute way, but their eyes feel like they’re piercing into my soul. They asked me to go to the counselling session but I yelled at them and said no because I know they’re going to take away more visiting hours.

I just want to see you Harry; I don’t care if it’s for a split second. I just want to know how you’re doing because it hurts. Mum couldn’t give me any news on you, neither could my sisters. They said they’d tried to contact you but you haven’t got back to them, why’s that? I need something to tell me you’re okay, because I two sips of my calorie drink and I’m scared the voices have done something to you. I’ve had way too much to eat and I’m scared you’re hurt; I’m not there to protect you from them. Please let me know you’re okay? I’m begging.

I know this letter sucks but I needed to get things off my chest.

I love you, forever and always. Lou xx