Plain Pain: A Niall Horan Fan Fiction

Chapter 42

When the sunlight managed to peak its way through the blinds, I knew it was time to wake up. I wasn't conscious enough of the weight on my body until minutes later when I felt sweat beginning to seep through my shirt.

Niall's arm was draped around my torso, a little too tightly for someone who was fast asleep, while his head rested atop my chest, his bubblegum lips tickling my collarbones as he slightly moved them in his sleep. His dirty blond hair tickled my chin, and one of his legs was draped over both of mine, curled around them, while the tips of his ears, as well as his visible cheek, possessed a reddish pink shade of color.

In contrast to yesterday, he appeared rather helpless and innocent. A smile tugged at my mouth before it shortly faded away as I noticed the dark bags underneath Niall's eyes and I remembered the events of yesterday. I sighed, knowing that if I could turn back time, I probably wouldn't, and that was the problem. I was starting to feel things I'd never wanted to feel again for the sake of my own peace of mind. It was this particular feeling that had me regretting letting Niall back into my life once again. I knew this would happen because no matter how much time had gone by, I was never truly positive that I'd ever gotten over Niall.

Unfortunately, I couldn't help the fact that everything Niall did and said made me grow more attracted to him each day. If he wasn't so damn perfect, maybe I wouldn't have started taking a liking to him, but he was, and I was starting to revisit my feelings for him involuntarily and against my own will. History was repeating itself, so maybe it was meant to be, but maybe this friendship is what wasn't meant to be, which was why something had to come up and ruin it every time we tried to mend it.

Four years ago, I was sixteen and crushing on my best friend. I was naïve, young, and foolish, but now I was older, wiser, and more conscious of the things I saw and felt. A mere, early teenage crush was supposed to be something you can easily get over, and I thought that I did get over it, until last night.

On the other hand, I don't think this 'sudden' realization of my 'newfound' feelings was a mere epiphany after last night's events. I believe last night rather triggered the realization, but the feelings had always been there. Those feelings were like a virus, a dormant virus in my body waiting for its queue to activate. A virus my heart and mind had cradled in until Niall dug his way deeper into them, taking over my mind and stealing my heart with everything he did and said. Little by little, he inched his way closer and closer to all the buried emotions inside of me, and suddenly, I was back at square one, but this time, I knew what to do and what to not do.

Those feelings were what got us into this mess in the first place, so for that, I was gonna suck it up because if it was meant to be, it would have happened four years ago. I wasn't ready to lose Niall again. Just his presence gave me a pure feeling of absolute bliss, regardless of anything else. Just the fact that he was next to me was enough, but I knew that this wouldn't last for long. I knew that as the days went by, my feelings would develop, and who knows if I'd be able to forever hold my peace, or screw things over for the second time again.

I pondered over waking Niall up, but decided to let him sleep for a little longer as the hangover he'd wake up with would probably be unendurable, judging by the alcohol and drugs he'd consumed last night.

I was yet to find out who gave him the cigarette. I took a deep breath before starting to unwrap my right arm from around Niall's neck, dragging it slowly from underneath. He moaned sleepily and moved his head around, settling it back onto my chest as my body completely froze. Knowing there was no way to escape without waking Niall up, I settled for interrupting his slumber so I could tell him to move and then let him continue his sleep.

"Niall," I cooed, "Niall, wake up."

He sighed, "Five more minutes, babe," he mumbled, his lips tickling my skin as he spoke.