East

East | Chapter 21

Chapter 21

A WARM HAND LANDS on my elbow—I'm startled awake, make a sound. Ash mumbles a soft, "Sorry," his fingers lightly brushing my skin as he moves to slide out of the bed. Eyes still closed, I raise my head sleepily, and he touches my shoulder. "I'll just be a minute," he says softly.

I turn over, burrow deeper into the sheets. They smell like wood smoke... It's familiar, comfortable, even if I can't figure out what exactly it reminds me of. I pry open an eyelid, worried for a moment that there might be flames creeping up over the sheets and coming towards me to take revenge for my brothers—for what I'd done to them, to Mom, for making Jem choose between us that night—but all I see are slashes of moonlight, a window full of shadows; and all I hear is the gentle footsteps of rain darting over the roof above my head...

You are not one of the fireborn.

The tears fall. They trace my cheeks and soak the sheets... It wasn't me. It wasn't me. I didn't set the fire, I didn't set any fire. Not the first time and not the second time, either. I didn't kill anyone...

But that leaves only one other alternative, and his familiar wood-smoke scent is everywhere in these sheets, pulling me back to sleep...

- - - - - - - - - -

We left the curtains open last night. The sky is a hazy blue-mauve-yellow and the clouds make pink shadows on Ash's bedroom floor.

I don't hear his breaths, but already I feel the way the mattress shifts slightly with each rise and fall of his chest. He's awake. I swallow my pride and turn over to face him.

Ash stills. For a second the air freezes, thick with expectation, as we look at each other.

I clear my throat. "Hi," I say. My voice comes out garbled, uneven.

"Hello." His lips twitch slightly, but that's it. He studies me. I open my mouth to say more, then stop.

When the water touched him last night and showed me his thoughts, nothing was clear. At the time his happiness stood out, his and mine both, distracted me and pulled me in. But here in the light of morning...

"You saved me," I say.

"You saved yourself, really," he says back.

I shake my head. "I wouldn't have thought of that—not in a million years," I whisper truthfully. "Only you remembered..."

"I thought of that day at Rocksfall," he whispers back. "You did mean to jump, didn't you? Only you wouldn't have been hurt..."

"I'm there all the time. I've done it a million times." I grin. "It's such a rush, Ash... And no, I wouldn't have been hurt."

Ash brushes a thumb across my cheek. "You always liked to swim... Your whole family."

I close my eyes. "They're not my family."

His thumb stills. "What?"

"That night you found me, when you brought me here..." I can barely get the words out; I still haven't told anyone about this. "You were right. Jem and Dennis kicked me out of the house."

He waits quietly, grey eyes soft and wide. I tell him what Dennis said, tell him Dad's story. "Jem was so angry," I tell him, shaking at the memory of it. "He was so angry with me. He knew I wasn't worth it. He hated that I'd made him choose between me or M-Mom—"

"Oh, East, I'm so sorry..."

He puts an arm around me and draws me close to his chest, and I touch him, realize I can almost hear the blood running through his veins. He doesn't burn anymore.