In My Time Of Need (Destiel)

Chapter 12: Here to help

Deans P.O.V

     I stayed up that night replaying the last few hours. I think? I looked over at the clock. 6:34. Make that ten hours. 

I sighed lying back on the bed. 'He was so scared and I didn't say a damn thing. I watched and let him leave without a word. I mean he couldn't even walk. The way he shook... I should've said something. What would I even say? I don't think I would have anything to say because honestly; I was mortified myself. I mean, I don't think it was what he said that really scared me. If anything it was how I reacted. I clearly remember thinking 'oh, what the hell' but there was something else... I felt strange. Almost like I got butterflies. Like I was blushing...' 

I sat back up and brought my foot up next to me, resting my arm on my bent knee. 

"what the hell am I talking about" I exclaimed to myself looking around. I blinked a little before thinking about it again. 

'I wasn't really blushing... Was I? No. No way' 

I half heartedly laughed to myself dropping my head. I thought about it again and brought my head back up. I thought about his face when he admitted it. The way it lit up hoping for the right answer. My stomach dropped when I remembered that he never got one. Then he put himself into shock. He trembled like a cloth less child in the snow. I remembered feeling him shaking under my hands. The expression he had only made it so much worse. He was more than disappointed, more than sad. It still confuses me but I think he looked like he was truly sorry. Sorry for being in love with me and knowing it would cause distance between us two' 

I got on my feet and paced around the room. 

"Dammit" I whispered shaking my head. I stopped and looked towards the door. I needed to get out of here. 

I began packing my stuff into the impala. I was leaving tonight with no intentional destination. 

            Castiel’s P.O.V

     I sat watching the waves for hours and the sun was finally starting to rise. I tried as much as I could to keep my mind blank but I couldn't help myself when Dean would pop up in my head. I remembered the good times and the bad times and thought about how much I would miss them. I'm convinced we won't be speaking anymore. After last 

night the answer was clear. He was my best friend and nothing more. I thought me confessing my feelings would be easy but it was probably the worst decision I've ever made. I lay back in the sand. I began picking it up and let it fall between my fingers. It followed the slight breeze and curved away. What was I going to do now? 

I pictured Dean's face again but instead of the recent argument I thought of his laugh. I suddenly felt the weight of my body. I felt drowsy and weak as my chest began to tighten. I felt a burning sensation strike my nose and water formed in my eyes. 

"What is happening to me?" I thought out loud sitting up and wiping at my face panting.

"It's heartbreak, Castiel" Naomi said. I looked over and saw her standing over me with pity in her eyes. 

"What are you doing here?" I snapped stumbling to my feet. 

"You're dealing with heartbreak. You need to understand that I didn't want this for you. I only wanted to ensure the safety of everyone from the danger of Crowley. Yet, he's still out there. Please, hear me out about this. We need you to stop Crowley and find this angel tablet before he does" 

"I don't believe you and I'm not going to help you either. You wanted me to kill Dean." 

"You have to understand, I don't want that but heaven needs you"