The Park

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Alaria's POV

Kaoru and Hikaru left before lunch. Kaoru kissed me on the cheek and I kissed him. After they left, Kyoya had the cooks make us lunch, which we were eating now. Sushi. Yum.

It was quiet. Not one of those, "I'm eating" kind of quiets. It's uncomfortable and it needs to end. But I just kept shoveling food in my mouth and keeping quiet. I just wanted Kyoya to say something. We both finished at the same time and, as soon as he did, he stood and started for his room.

I stood and grabbed his arm, stopping him on the steps. "What's wrong, Kyoya?" He turned to me sharply. Swiftly, he pinned me against the wall. "What's wrong with me?" He whispered evilly. "I want you. In my arms. I want to be the one kissing your cheek when I leave. I want to be the one holding your hand. I want to be the one holding you and comforting you without fear of you being snatched away from me by him." He sounded so upset... "I just want you, Alaria. But I simply can't have you." His voice turned into a growl as he glared at the door.

Kyoya turned back to me, a depressed smile on his face. "I just want you." His whisper was hysterical, as if he were about to fall apart. I cupped his cheeks and leaned my forehead against his. "I need you..." He whispered, pulling me to him by the small of my back. With the way he pushed me to him, my head lowered and our lips met.

The feeling was weird, unlike the others. The electricity was more intense, travelling not just through my mouth and neck, but throughout my entire body. The feeling shocked me and I pushed closer to him to see if it was just my imagination.

If this is what kissing him felt like, what would being with him be like?

I tried to shake the thoughts from my head, but I was too busy melting into Kyoya like heated chocolate. I weaved my fingers through his short hair, pushing him even closer to me. By now, there wasn't one centimeter of space between us. His hands wrapped around my waist, gently pushing me against the wall again.

We stayed like this for a little while, until we had to breathe. We were both panting, our breaths completely lost and we were rendered completely vulnerable to one another. I hated it.

Why does he have this affect on me? What is it that he has that Kaoru doesn't? Kyoya just seems to know--understand--me in ways none of the other hosts can. He was the other half of me.

Kyoya didn't back away, and neither did I. I wanted to stay on his arms forever, just because he made me feel safe and understood. I've always just wanted that feeling; that I was understood.

Finally, after what felt like forever, Kyoya slid away from me. "I'm making this harder on you, Alaria. And I apologize for that." He shook his head, his hands in mine. "I don't know what's going on with me--" I stopped him with a smirk and leaned into his ear. "I've caught you..." My voice is a low whisper, more in awe and matter-of-factly than anything else.

Kyoya stiffens, obviously confused by what I meant by that. But I walked off before he could react.

***

After a while, Kyoya and I both agreed it'd be nice to meet up with the rest of the hosts at the park. Why? Well, it wasn't blizzard weather, and we were tired of being cooped up in the mansion.

I walked up to my room and pulled my hair into a sloppy bun on top of my head. I pulled on a purple sweatshirt and a white pair of skinny jeans. I slipped on a thick, black leather jacket over my sweatshirt, then lined my eyes with eyeliner and brushed on mascara.

By the time I was ready, converse and everything, Kyoya was at the door, tapping his foot impatiently. I smirked and walked out to the limo that waited for us, it's engine purring. Kyoya joined me in the limo, turning on the radio. He fiddled with the channels until he just gave up, turning it off. I giggled at his exasperated expression.

The limo headed off, and, though the ride was only supposed to be fifteen to twenty minutes long, it felt like it was hours before we got there.

My mind was all over the place. How did I continue to allow Kyoya to affect me the way he does? Why, of all things, did my mother commit suicide instead of just going sober? Why did Ouran give me the scholarship? How did I even pass the test? What did I do to deserve losing both parents? Why doesn't even knowing my parents are in a better place comfort me?

My mind is a dark, dangerous place.

Suddenly, a strange, random few lyrics pop into my head.

'Cause she's got stars in her eyes
But she's hiding scars on her wrists and thighs.
You can try and you can fight,
But you ain't taking back the pain, baby.
She's still lost, but she ain't gonna show it.
So keep on goin', babe, and save yourself the time.

I almost jumped at the randomness of the lyrics. I don't even recall where they came from. But it wasn't just the randomness of the lyrics; it was the lyrics themselves.

It sounded as if someone were telling a friend to quit fighting for someone because they were hopeless. I'd never do that. I'd never be able to accomplish something so selfish.

Numb, babe, that's what she is.
If you think you're gonna change somethin',
You got another thing comin'.
She don't want your help,
She's just an attention seeker.

So leave her be, baby,
And leave your attention with me.
Imma treat you right,
Keep your mind offa her.

'Cause she's got stars in her eyes
But she's hiding scars on her wrists and thighs
You can try and you can fight,
But you ain't taking back the pain, baby.
She's still lost, but she ain't gonna show it.
So keep on goin', babe, and save yourself some time.

I suddenly remembered where that song came from. I vaguely heard my mother singing it to herself after a hangover. When I'd asked her about it, she told me she was singing about her past self and daddy. Of course, I was too young at the time to comprehend what that meant.

The limo came to a stop with a jerk, causing me to throw out my foot against the seat before me to keep my body from lurching in the seat's direction. I don't lock my knee, in case I break it, I leave it bent and bounce right back so that I'm completely safe in my seat.

Kyoya raises a brow at my smart, instinctive maneuver, but I simply shrug and get out of the warm limo.

The park is completely covered in snow, every single inch. It's almost hard to comprehend something so beautiful could also be so dangerous.

For once, Kyoya and I were the first people to arrive. Next was Tamaki and Haruhi, then Mori and Hunni, and, last but not least, Hikaru and Kaoru.

As soon as he saw me, even though he saw me about an hour ago, he took my hand with a giant smile on his face. I offered him the same smile.

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