Love Is In The Air

Can't live without you - Kenneth Gangnes x OC

"Kenny, is that you?", I ask as the door to our shared hotel room opens. "Hei, love, I am back", he slurs as he walks into the room.
He has been drinking again, like on almost every evening during the past few weeks that hasn't been followed by a competition. I am glad that my boyfriend actually cares about that at least.
Kenny walks over to where I am sitting on the bed and sits down next to me. The smell of alcohol lingers in his breath and I scrunch my nose. He takes my hand and says: "Love, we need to talk."
Those five words that I never wanted to hear coming out of my love's mouth break my heart and I find it difficult to breathe. This can't be happening.
"I think we need to take a break. There are some things that I need to sort out and get under control. I don't want to hurt you with this, my love, please understand me, I..."
When I nod, he turns silent. I look into the deep blue eyes I fell in love with - and still love after nearly ten months - and try to find the courage to answer him.
"It's alright, Kenny, darling. I - I just don't think taking a break will help you, and make you happy. You have to be happy. I need you to be happy. If you need to change something in your life, I don't want to be a burden."
I am biting my lip and look down to where Kenny kneels in front of me now. I don't want to be breaking up with him. My whole body feels numb and my throat burns, but I have to stay strong. For him.
He's not smiling. "Babygirl", he whispers and I freeze, because this always gets me, "don't break up with me, please."
"But darling", I say and wipe away the tear that has escaped from his eye, "you have to be happy. I would only complicate everything for you. Smile, Kenneth, please. I love you." I manage a weak smile and press a small kiss to his forehead.
Then I stand up and leave the room. Kenny doesn't hold me back, he just sits there and stares at me while I close the door behind me.
Joachim and Anders are staying in the room next to ours, so that's where I am going now. As soon as Joachim has opened the door, I throw myself into his arms and bury my face in his neck. "You are shaking", he says softly, "What happened? Should I call for Kenneth?"
I tense and wildly shake my head no. Anders comes over to where we are still standing and joins the hug. Slowly and insecurely I start telling my two best friends about everything that has happened.
"I will kill him", murmurs Anders through gritted teeth. "No!", I hurriedly reply, "Don't. It was my choice, don't hold him resonsible for it."
Joachim shakes his head and his hands that he has wrapped around my waist clench into fists. "He made you do it. He knows that his happiness is most important to you. You can't sacrifice yourself! I know you. This makes you hurt a lot more than you want to admit." His expression is soft now as he looks at me and gently releases his hold on me.
"Don't worry", I smile at the two, "it's fine as long as he is happy. It hurts me to let go. A lot, really. But maybe it's better for him." The last bit of my sentence is barely understandable. I am crying and shaking with sobs. The world around me becomes blurry, then everything is dark.
When I wake up again, I am lying in Joachim's bed. The two Norwegians are sitting next to me and look very worried, but I assure them that everything is just fine.
They don't seem to be convinced. Anders pointedly looks at my shaking fingers - a sign that I am panicking - and frowns, but I act like I don't notice it and he doesn't mention it.
Instead they tell me that I can stay in their room and that they will fetch my things from Kenny's room.
The next few days are horrible. I barely sleep or eat, but somehow I manage to keep up the illusion that I am feeling alright. Except for Anders and Joachim, nobody seems to pay much attention to it. Kenneths looks at me all the time and tries to convince me to eat something from time to time, but I ignore him.
One afternoon he notices my shaking hands and wants to take them into his, but I know I will break down if he does so. I simply can't touch him. Therefore I pull them away and walk over to Joachim.
That night, he makes me take pills so I can sleep at least a bit. With their help, I am able to get some rest and I feel slightly better during the next days.
I have lost count of how many days have passed since Kenny and I have broken up. I just live from morning to evening, until I can hide between the sheets of my bed again.
I am sitting on my bed when I hear voices in front of our room's door.
"How is she?"
That is definitely Kenny's voice. Is he talking about me?
"You don't need to know."
Anders sounds very angry.
"I do."
"Why?"
"She is my girlfriend."
"Was."
Kenny is probably shaking his head at the ground out there now.
"How is she?"
Anders sighs.
"How do you expect her to be? She doesn't sleep. We give her medication. I took one of your hoodies and wear it when she cuddles me at night. She loves to be surrounded by your smell. It's the only way she feels safe. She barely eats as much as necessary. She's not giving herself up, she's too smart for that. But the only thing she seems to live for is seeing your smile. She did that to make you happy, and you refuse to make her see your happiness. She loves you more than anything or anyone else. She would give her life for you without thinking about it twice. It's killing her. That's how she is."
Anders hasn't shouted yet, but his voice sounds incredibly angry.
"I need to see her."
That makes him explode.
"Are you freaking serious? No! You won't see her! I won't allow you to hurt her even more!"
"I'm not planning to."
Kenny's voice sounds so broken.
"I've done enough harm. Just let me talk to her, please."
I don't know what he has done to convince Anders, but the door opens and Kenny enters the room.
I stand up and we come to a stop only inches away from each other. His eyes draw me in and I have to use all my will power to stop staring into them.
"Kenneth. Is everything alright?"
He shakes his head and tries to take my hands, but I flinch away.
"You look sad", I whisper, "Are you crossed in love? Disappointed by someone?"
Kenny smiles down at me, but it's a sad smile. He looks a bit surprised, but recovers quickly. "Crossed in love", he says very quietly.
As much as I have expected it, I still wasn't prepared for hearing this.
Although I have never seen Kenny with any girls those last few days and even though Danny had assured everyone that Kenny wasn't going out anymore, he must have fallen in love. Maybe with someone he has met at the competitions, or anywhere else.
"Tell me about her", I smile and blink away the tears that start to form in my eyes.
"She's the most beautiful girl in the whole world and I could stare at her all day long. Her smile is brighter than the sun, but I haven't seen her smile lately. She's angry at me, because I have been drunk a lot. I disappointed her, although that was something I promised myself I wouldn't do. When I asked her for a break in our relationship, because I wanted to get my drinking under control without hurting her even more, I made the biggest mistake of my life. She broke up with me. I should have been honest, I should have told her the truth. The truth about why I first started drinking. Because I was much too scared of rejection to ask her if she will marry me."
The tears have been rolling over my cheeks throughout Kenny's explanation and I keep crying when he continues.
"Babygirl, you are my sunshine. You are so strong and brave, you are everything that I am not. But you inspire me to be a better person every day. You are the most important person in my life and I can't put my love for you into words. What I did is inexcusable, it made me lose the most beautiful and intelligent and talented woman in my life. But I still love you more than words could ever explain. I have had sleepless nights, for only you can make me complete. When you broke up with me, my world broke apart, because you are my happiness."
I am sobbing now and cling to Kenny tightly with my arms wrapped around his neck and my face pressed against his chest.
He whispers into my hair about how much he loves me, and I believe him. It all makes sense now. How could I have been so dumb? I should have asked him, but instead I assumed the worst and hurt the both of us.
"I will", I finally say as I look up into my love's eyes. He frowns: "What are you talking about?"
"I will marry you. I love you."
Kenny's smile is brighter than ever before as he leans down to kiss me softly. It's by far the best kiss we have shared up until now, because we both lay all our love in it.
The perfect moment is sealed when Kenny sneakily slips a beautiful ring onto my finger.
"I am the happiest man in the world now", he whispers before leaning down to steal another kiss. "I love you, too, my fiancée", he smiles happily and I kiss him again.

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So, this was it! My first one shot. I actually dreamt this last night. I hope you like it!

Word count: 1731 words