When The Wolves Come Out

Chapter 13

Ethan didn't go to school on Monday. Or the next day. Or the day after that. I wondered if it was because of the way I acted at the river the last time I saw him. I still felt guilty about running away like that. I should've heard him out, but something was telling me to run from him.

"You okay?" Lena asks me as we're eating lunch. I've barely touched any food since Ethan left.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just worried about Ethan," I admit. "I don't even know why."

"I get ya, girl," Ellie says, rubbing my arm reassuringly. "He was a nice guy. And super hot." I shoot Ellie an unimpressed look. "Sorry."

"Let's just go."

We all get up and walk down the hallway together, and that's when I start to hear something in the distance. Footsteps. Except these were particularly loud and I knew who they belonged to.

I whip my head around frantically but can't see him. And then I hear a crash. I race around the corner, ignoring calls from my friends. I bump into Alex, a girl from my English class.

"Sorry!" I say, peering over her shoulder to try and see what's going on. There's a crowd of people gathered around a section of lockers. "What's going on?"

"The new guy's picking a fight. Better watch out."

It takes me a while to realise who she's talking about. "What?!" I run past Alex and head to the scene. I see Ethan pressing Harry up against the lockers, who seems to be laughing.

"Ethan!" I yell and he immediately drops Harry to the floor, facing me with a worried expression. His eyes are red and blue, but when he sees me they go straight back to brown. There's a cut on his bottom lip, but apart from that he doesn't look phased.

"Ash." He sounds relieved. Harry scampers away and the crowd clears so it's just me and Ethan left.

Anger bubbles inside of me, but I also want to hug him and tell him I missed him.

"What were you doing? Where have you been?"

"Harry can't try to kiss you like that! I won't have it."

"What? How did you find out about that?"

Ethan looks down at the floor, suddenly ashamed. "Jasmine."

"Oh. Well that's great," I say sarcastically. "Where have you been?" I repeat, my voice demanding.

"There's been some problems within my pack. I had to sort them out."

"Oh." Disappointment and confusion are probably clear in my eyes. "I thought it was because—"

"No," he cuts me off. "What happened at the river was... A mistake."

"A mistake?" I repeat, dumbfounded. I can't believe I'd felt so on edge all this time for no reason. Honestly, I was disappointed that his feelings for me had gone. I know I shouldn't have been sad about it, but there was something inside of me that wanted to believe we had something.

"I'm sorry." He walks away, leaving me by myself.

I felt like crying, like calling back for him, but I knew it was no use. I'd blown it with a guy I'd known for barely a week, and for some reason I ached inside, like there was a hole going right through my chest.

Days go by, maybe even weeks, and Ethan and I don't talk. Maybe the occasional glance in my direction during class, or the brief moment when our eyes would meet as we pass down the hallway. But apart from that, nothing. I still felt empty.

~~

I lie in bed on a Saturday morning, just thinking. I would get on with my life for real. I'd get out of bed as a new version of myself. A version that had nothing to do with Ethan.

I stand up, take a shower, get dressed and decide to go for a drive.

The radio is playing some of my old favourite songs by 'A Rocket To The Moon', and I feel completely calm, mumbling along to each word that I knew so well.

Just as the song is ending, I peer out the window and see a river. I pull up the car on the side of the road and get out, going down a few steps until I reach the it. I can see a perfect view of the city behind it, but it's never going to be as breathtaking as the river that Ethan took me to.

I thought I was supposed to be getting over him!

And then I see it. It's the same river he took me to. I can see the tree with the rope hanging from one of the branches. The only difference is that I'm on the other side.

I curse at myself for accidentally coming to this place, but then decide to climb up the tree with the rope on it. I've done it before, it's just that I was pushed all of the other times.

I strip down to my underwear, shivering in the cold. It reminded me that I was still alive. Without Ethan.

I wrap my hands around the rope, take a deep breath, and push my feet off the the platform, letting myself fly. My long, brown hair blows out of my face and I almost forget everything... Until I hit the river.

It hurts more than it did last time, and instead of having fun and feeling calm as I swung off the rope, all my body was telling me to do now was panic.

The water is freezing and I shudder, I try to swim to shore as quickly as I can, except I can't feel my legs.

Keep pushing.

My arms were starting to get colder as well, and I know that I won't be able to hold myself up much longer.

My breath hitches in my throat as my arms begin to go numb. Oh, no. No, no, no! I'm struggling, gasping for air until I am pulled under by the water, and peace finally comes over me.